why is quitting so hard
it's so difficult to not give in
it constantly ruins my everyday living—studies, relationships, basically everything that i got. i just know that it is tied to some sort of karma. ironic how i am aware but i still can't help myself
no matter how much i discipline myself; how long i try to stop myself; it feels like nothing is working. i would just find myself at night relapsing—looking at it again, and after doing it, the shame and guilt is sickening
i am so frustrated. i'm still young, and I don't want this to completely wreck me
i know that i'm the only one that can stop it, since i don't really want to open this up to anyone, but boy am i too weak to fight my own thoughts
i just want to be happy, but why does it have to be this that pleasures me? why did i let this consume me? why did i ever discover this?
any advice would be really helpful, especially those who had a really hard time also, but ended up freeing themselves
maybe someday, i can be proud of myself for finally escaping this cycle too