u/needhelpples778778

I'm a 20 year old college student. I live with my parents, but stay in dorms during the school year. Because of this, I'm not my dog's primary caretaker for most of the year.

My dog is my best friend. we adopted him when I was 13 and we instantly connected. He loves everyone in our family, but he is particularly close to me- sleeps in my bed, goes to me when he's scared or wants something, etc. He's a black pit-lab mix from a shelter, approximately 9 years old, and the sweetest guy ever.

Unfortunately, hes been experiencing a bunch of horrible symptoms for the last 2 years, progressively getting more and more confusing and extreme.

- hes always been a picky eater, but there would be days he completely skips eating anything at all. we've changed food brands, types, flavors, etc. and found some things he likes- but sometimes he will still refuse to eat.

- loose stool. He would be sleeping, would wake up in a fright, and there would be poop stains, as if he had an incredibly upset stomach.

- he eats grass, deer poop, and mud. This is a relatively new development. Grass started a few years ago, deer poop was this year, and today, he ate up a ton of mud from a spilled plant pot. he proceeded to vomit it all out just now, and is still clearly in pain and nauseous.

- we already know he has joint issues. We can tell what he's like when he's in pain, and I can clearly tell he gets an upset stomach often. we KNOW he likely has gut issues.

- changes in behavior. he has always been incredibly gentle and good with kids, but he recently lunged at one of my cousins. There was no clear provoking force.

If you have any advice or recognize what these behaviors might mean, please tell me. Any advice is appreciated. What can I do to ease his pain? Im currently trying to convince my family to take him to the vet- they're blowing this off as usual...

I broke up with my partner about a month and a half ago. The conversation was difficult and confusing. for a while, I thought they had actually dumped me, and was absolutely heartbroken- only to find out they only broke up with me *because* they thought *I was gonna break up with them*. Since then, they said they still love me and want our relationship to continue. I was so confused by their actions, and felt so hurt by their behavior. I said I can't do that. I still hold strong feelings for them and care about them a lot. I never intended for this to happen.

I've always been a strict advocate for direct and clear communication, and so, I acted accordingly- but it was always more difficult for them to explain how they felt. I often had to "force it" out of them. They'd act distant, angry, or upset, and simply refused to explain themselves or communicate what was bothering them. because of this, I did my best to *not* push them into talking about their feelings. I didn't want to be annoying. I kind of regret this now.

We dated in person for 6 months begore they had to move away, leading to a short period of long distance. Shortly after moving, they went through a deeply traumatic experience. They have been picking up the pieces since. I've done my absolute best to be supportive and helpful, both financially, emotionally, and physically, but the only real feedback I've gotten from them was that I was overbearing and stressing them out. so I gave them more space.

Over time, they grew more and more distant. our relationship turned into me waiting for them and worrying about them 24/7. I was too scared to be overbearing again, so I gave them the space they needed, but I suddenly felt so unimportant to them. most days, they would say a single sentence to me over text. Whenever I'd call them, they'd say we'd talk later, and later never really came. I started to feel as though they didn't actually want our relationship anymore, and I was, frankly, sympathetic to it. I loved them very much and I wanted what was best for them, regardless if it hurt or insulted me. They went through a really difficult time, and maintaining a relationship requires effort. I thought, what if they simply do not have the emotional means to maintain that right now? what if they just want space because they don't have the capacity to uphold a relationship?

I asked them this. very straightforwardly, too. I just asked if they'd been distant for a reason, and if I had done anything to stress them out again, or if our current arrangement was putting more pressure on them than they could handle.

They broke up with me a few days later, with very little explanation. I was devastated but assumed I was right in my intuition. 2 weeks passed. I cried nonstop. I felt ridiculous for being too much to deal with. We talked again briefly, when they revealed they never wanted to break up with me, and thought I brought up this topic because I wanted to break up with them. *WHAT???* They'd been more affectionate since then than they'd been in the last few weeks of our relationship...

anyways, like I explained earlier in the post, I broke things off despite still loving them. But I'm wondering now if I was too quick to do so. in my confusion and hurt, I let someone I love go, over a miscommunication. it was painful, but I dont think there was any intentional hurt. Would you give another relationship like this a chance?

P.S my family and friends tend to believe they weren't very good for me. I'd like to believe them and trust them. I have very weak intuition about people's intentions, clearly- I am autistic and tend to have trouble reading the intricacies or hidden motivations of people. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.

My (now ex) partner of 7 months went through a few really traumatic events in the last few months. We've been in a LDR for these months. Before then, we had a healthy and loving in-person relationship. I won't go into detail, but in the last few months, they were left with no stable housing and very little support. It was traumatic for them. I did my best to be supportive and help out as much as I possibly could. It was obviously a stressful situation for them, and so I focused on them and their needs more; though, looking back at it, they seemed fixated on how the whole situation was affecting me.

They broke up with me a few days ago, claiming they love me, but need a break to figure out their situation. This made me very sad, obviously, but would've been understandable and acceptable, if not for the next part.

They claimed that I am not benefitting from our relationship and that I 'deserve better'. their exact words. They spoke as if their situation made their entire presence in my life so anxiety-inducing, I'd be better off without them.

I understand how they may have jumped to this conclusion, but... it's a sad sentiment born out of insecurity, and it's simply not true. I had gripes and issues with our relationship, but almost none of them revolved around their personal troubles. I was more than willing to stick by their side no matter what happened.

I was just uncomfortable and sad by their lack of communication. I talked to them about this multiple times, with very little change. They'd often go weeks without having a single full conversation with me. whenever I tried to check in and ask if everything is alright, they'd simply say yes, despite clearly acting upset and avoiding conversation.

I started to blame myself, and was worried I'd done something wrong. I did stress them out before simply by being concerned. I know I can be intense and apologized. I would ask them about this, too. I did not want to be another source of stress in their life, and simply couldn't understand why they werent talking to me. They did absolutely nothing to sway my concerns or reassure me. I was left to my own paranoid devices, and in the absence of their communication, I worried I was somehow being a stressful presence in THEIR life.

TLDR: They broke up with me thinking they were burdening me, and the entire time, I've been paranoid thinking I was burdening them.

This is something that we could've spoken about ages ago, in my opinion, but they were so closed off. I feel kind of betrayed. I don't understand why they shut me out like this.

I understand this could be a self defense mechanism- avoidance in the name of dodging future hurt. but at the same time, I am frustrated with their lack of effort to maintain or fight for our relationship. They simply decided to give up on it instead of actually talking to me.

How do I talk to them about this? how do I communicate this? I feel horrible.