u/nemophile2024

I’m early 40’s, have been estimating bespoke interiors for private and commercial work in the Home Counties and london for the last 15 years.
I’m just reaching £70k per year.
I’m finding that my current company aren’t keep to increase me much more but I can kind of see why when the open job market looks dreadful and if I was to switch for a similar role the jobs seem advertised at quite a wide range of £45-65k

I’m not interested in going self employed at this time and I get a lot of flexibility where I am which works well for now due to primary age kids and an other half that has demanding job.

Do I need to sit this out until kids are a bit more grown up and I can go for something more senior?

My last pair of leather gizehs lasted so well and I was able to walk forever in them without any discomfort.
I need a new pair and wondering if the EVA type will be as comfortable ?

We have owned our house for 10 years. We are late 30’s.
Have primary school aged children.
In that time we have extended and renovated.
Our salaries have increased with job changes.
Our house remains small but manageable (we don’t host or have many people over as we are quite an introverted family)
I love the house and what we’ve done but would love to be more rural and the area we are in is ‘up and coming’ so not perfect.
With the pay rises and house renovations it would give us the ability to buy something at nearly 3x the original cost of our house, which would mean doubling the mortgage.
This based on affordability calculators is well within affordability criteria with wriggle room but still seems excessive to me.
How do you ever decide to do a big move?
Alternatively we continue our overpayment and saving whilst staying in our house and retire early instead

We bought our house over 10 years ago, a small Victorian terrace.
It was bare bones restore with new everything - floors, plaster, electrics, plumbing, boiler, glazing, and a few years later a loft extension.
Prior to us buying the house the downstairs front room was knocked through to rear.
It was non structural wall.
However, I keep seeing people pulling out of a sale as knock through walls are noted on surveys and need building consent.
The wall was knocked through in the 70’s and there is none.
What would need to happen to sell the house?
I’ve had builders here and estate agents valuing the house more recently and it’s never been mentioned

I need to find some boots that are suitable for work but that I can also do a lot of steps in.
I average about 10k steps on an office day.
Do you find yours fine for this many steps?

I own lots of walking boots and shoes but then I need to change for work

Starting to feel like I’m a weirdo with a problem.
I have a family who I love and a decent job with colleagues who I get on well with.
Outside of that, I have friends who have chosen me in spite of me being quite closed off.
After many years I learnt that I need time by myself almost to recover from being surrounded by people at work and family life so dropped my working days to give me a day per week just for me.

What seems to have happened is people see that as I have spare time to spend with them.
People pop round uninvited and tell me I am rude for not either answering the door or for not being available.

I’ve had school run mums want to walk with me when I’ve told them I don’t feel very sociable and want to be alone.
They joke about it and then tell me I should consider therapy which feels rude and a bit upsetting.

Then I get home again and wonder if there’s something wrong with me.

I have some friends who I haven’t contacted in a few months and rather than missing the contact I feel relief that I don’t have to think up normal responses to feel like I fit in.

Should I be trying harderto form relationships?
Or - how can I just relax in the knowledge that I am ok to be like this at all