u/nerperipriperi

Finding a female flatmate in this budget is ridiculously difficult, and I genuinely don’t understand why.

I can literally count 4 or 5 of my male friends on my fingertips who pay the same rent or MORE for an unfurnished house in a similar locality, and none of them seem to have had this problem finding a flatmate.

Meanwhile, I’ve been looking for one for ages and have been paying the entire rent myself.

I got a 2BHK because I didn’t want to live alone in Mumbai. I thought it would be nice to have another person around. Someone you can be cordial with, maybe become friends with, or just peacefully coexist with.

And I’m genuinely very accommodating. I have ONE requirement: I’m vegetarian and need someone who is okay with that.

That’s literally it.

I’ve seen 30 to 40 properties before finalising this house, so please don’t come at me with “₹36k is too expensive for that location.” It really isn’t. I know what the market looks like.

At this point I’m just confused.

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH FINDING A FEMALE FLATMATE IN MUMBAI? 😭

I just wanted someone to share a house with. How has this become such a massive problem?

Note: Ai collate my thoughts into a post 🫠

I moved to Mumbai six months ago, and it took me almost two months of house hunting before I finally found a place I genuinely loved. It's a spacious 2BHK in a great location, in a beautiful gated society with all the amenities. The rent works out to ₹36,000 for one bedroom with a private bathroom.

The plan was always to share it, but for the last six months I've been paying the entire rent myself because I haven't been able to find a single flatmate.

The apartment was completely unfurnished when I moved in, so I've bought everything needed for the house and kitchen. I'm not asking anyone to pay for the household items I've already purchased. The only thing I expect is that whoever moves in contributes to the brokerage, since I paid that upfront too.

My only real requirements are:

- Female flatmate

- Vegetarian

- Someone who respects the house and shared spaces

That's literally it. I don't care if you have friends over or party occasionally as long as the building rules are respected.

I've posted on Facebook groups, Marketplace, Instagram, WhatsApp—pretty much everywhere—and I barely get any genuine leads. Most people I speak to have budgets that are almost half of ₹36k.

What's confusing me is that I've seen male friends rent similar (or even more expensive) apartments and find flatmates almost immediately, even when the apartments were unfurnished and everyone had to split furniture rentals.

So I'm genuinely wondering:

- Is ₹36k for a private room and bathroom considered too expensive by Mumbai standards?

- Is the market for female flatmates just much smaller?

- Or am I doing something wrong in the way I'm listing the place?

I'd really appreciate honest opinions because at this point I feel like I'm missing something obvious.

24F here from India

I’ve been on Hinge for almost a year. As much as I hate dating apps, they’re honestly the only place I know how to meet new people. I have gone on dates from the app, but nothing has really stuck.

Lately I feel like I’m stuck in this weird middle ground.

On one end are people who clearly want something casual. That’s not me.

On the other end are people who open with “I’m here intentionally looking for a serious relationship.” And oddly enough… that also scares me.

It’s not because I don’t want a serious relationship. I absolutely do. I just don’t understand how people jump to that before they even know whether they like each other.

Shouldn’t there be a phase where you’re just two people figuring each other out? Where you hang out, laugh, see if you even enjoy each other’s company? In my head, dating isn’t black and white. There’s supposed to be a grey area.

The other thing I struggle with is how quickly conversations become deep. Questions like “Why didn’t your last relationship work?” or “What are you looking for?” within the first few conversations feel so unnatural to me. I don’t enjoy sharing personal insights that early. I’d rather those conversations happen after we’ve built some comfort.

I’m also someone who loses interest if conversations stay surface-level forever. Endless texting, random flirting, no plans to actually meet—I just stop investing. So I’m not looking for pen pals either.

Which leaves me wondering… maybe I’m the problem?

Another thing that surprises people: I’m 24 and I’ve never been in a relationship. Not because I wasn’t interested, but because I’ve never wanted to date someone just for the sake of saying I had a boyfriend. In my head that’s completely normal, but almost every guy I’ve told has been genuinely shocked.

I’d genuinely love both male and female perspectives.

• Is this an unusual way to approach dating?

• Do people who say they’re “dating intentionally” still expect that getting-to-know-you phase?

• Men: would it be a red flag to you if a 24-year-old woman has never been in a relationship?

• And if you’ve felt stuck between being “too serious for casual dating” and “not serious enough for intentional dating,” how did you navigate it?

I feel like there’s something about modern dating that I haven’t quite understood yet. Maybe I’m doing something wrong, or maybe I’m just approaching it differently.