u/nerukoro

I was clean for 80 days until yesterday. One of the cuts was admittedly deeper than I meant for it to be and it even squirted and it honestly really scared me loll but anyways. I didn't dress it properly because I hate myself and I regret that reallyyyy bad

Sooo I go to pee and my boxers snag said wound and. It's just everywhere. I'm freaking out and I'm so glad our bathrooms are single stall but I'm texting my manager like can you bring me some gauze please maybe. She doesn't reply and 10 minutes pass and the blood isn't stopping

One of the sideworks is cleaning the bathrooms and my coworker had been trying to get in every 5 minutes or so not knowing I'm in there and there's another knock so. I open it so I can ask him if He can bring me some bandaids but he's not the one at the door😂😂😂 I'm very awkwardly like "ohh haha sorry I need to get back in there I'll be right back.." to the guy and he says nothing

I head for the first aid cabinet my belt lowkey undone I feel the blood dripping down my leg and my crush and my friend are like dude are you good. I'm shaking so bad but I'm like yeahhh haha just a little blood

I run back in the bathroom and I have to push on it for like another 10 minutes and I'm really trying to make it stop but I didn't get enough bandaids. So I hesitantly call my crush and I'm like can you pleaaase slide some more bandaids under the door. He's like yeah and I'm finally getting the bleeding under control then he texts me like. "Are you still in there?" I say yeah. He's like let me in I wanna help

I get as much of the blood out of sight as I can it's seeped through my pants a bit which are luckily black but I open the door and he's like let me see what happened are you okayyy and I'm literally lightheaded like fuckkkkkk. I didn't show him the wound or tell him exactly why I was bleeding but he knows me very well and. It was just a bit obvious. I'm so embarrassed god

Sooo some of my coworkers and I play dnd on Mondays. We always drink. This past month though it's like I don't know my limits, as someone who overthinks everything, feeling even slightly out of control is like eeeek

Essentially this guy who I'm not gonna lie I'm totally in love with (there has been this strange tension for quite some time now and we are kind of always together) closed that night and we were still playing once everyone finished closing up. I'm pretty drunk I go to pee and I come back and this dude is sitting in my seat. Soo I sit next to him on the floor and I'm like cuddled up to his legs what the helll what the hell is my provlemmm😭😭😭 I looked up and he was smiling at me and it's not like my head was in his lap but. I feel like I gave everything away and what if he just didn't want me to feel bad and😭. I texted my friend last night freaking out and she said he seemed happy to be there but what if She was just trying to save my feelings😭.

I just am usually so reserved and I was nudging his knees like a cat and my number one fear is making people uncomfortable I am so tempted to text and apologize I'm just. Sorry this is all over the place he just means so much to me I'm scared😭