u/nimbusnuggies-_-

Hey so me F18 and my bf M19 have been together for 2.5 years and to make things brief, I had SA experiences when I was younger and ive been able to talk to him about it, but i heard he talked to my brother about his own and I just feel like crap because I never wanted my stuff to overshadow his, and when I tried asking him about it (I didnt talk about my brother, I asked him if we could talk about something that might be a sensitive topic for him) and he was very open with talking to me and telling me, based on how it was going, but he very clearly had a mental block or a trauma block or something because he told me he thinks he see something in his memory, like he sees scenery from it, but every time he tries to remember what was happening he says its like a black sheet is dropping over his eyes.....

Yall please dont recommend therapy, were working on it were trying to get on our feet.... but I just want to make a mutual safe space for him to be able to remember

So I just turned 18 at the beginning of the month and when I went for my last obgyn appointment they told me because im 18 they'd have to put my name down as the guarantor, so now I have an almost 200 dollar bill because my obgyn person convinced me to try a new medicine I can't even afford and she didnt even tell me I would have to pay for my visit with her even tho I told her about the front desk taking me off insurance so im so stuck I cant get a job yet because were moving in a week and I owe dues to my school that need to be paid before I can graduate Edit: i know im uninsured. Im asking for insight. And i know my grammar is shit.

Its not mall related, but has anyone had dreams about a locker room?? Usually for me its in a lower level of wherever I am and its windowless, along with all the privacy walls being far too short

TLDR: found evidence of my bf 1 watching cam girls and paying for them 2 making ai nude videos of me 3 watching a shit ton of porn and 4 screenshotting pictures of my friends in provocative positions from tik tok for obvious purposes. Bonus: he downloaded a picture of me and my 2 friends and ai'd our clothes off. How do I talk to him

We've been dating over 2 years and im at a loss for words rn im just so shocked bc we've talked about this stuff before and It seemed like we both had strong opinions on it until last night I was using his email to order off Amazon (with my money so no hate please) and I was looking for the receipt and in the receipt folder there was one that showed transactions for a cam site. Not just once, 4 times in the same night, he was fucking paying to control women's vibrators. Oh, and it was on my birthday. I just feel so shitty because we haven't been able to do the deed in a hot minute because im having painful uterus and pelvic floor symptoms so I cant help but wonder if its my fault, I kept digging this morning which i shouldn't have done and I found a LOT of porn in his search history. I plan on having a big conversation with him in person about it tomorrow but I just feel so sad now

Edit: after more digging, I found fucking Ai videos he made with my face and I found pictures of my friends he screenshotted from tiktok im so mad rn

For reference, I am f18 and he is m19 and we've been together for a little over 2 years and ever since we've started dating ive been yearning for little notes, flowers, small crafts, and paragraphs about what is loved about me, but after so long I feel so selfish for continuing to want that stuff because ive given him all of the above and i cant seem to get him to want to do the same for me sadly, other than the first flowers he gave me were this valentines day.... and i can't change who he is, he has to want to do it and ive talked to him about it

.. really i just want to accept it and move on so I just need some advice