Question for agnostic/atheist girls: kifach katjbdo sujet dial din to rule out religious men and not waste your time? My problem is I'm usually afraid to reveal to men that I'm not muslim, idk if it's overreaction or paranoia but I feel unsafe to do it and I also for some reason tend to attract religious men (based on my judgement since I don't ask directly) and I rarely meet the ones who are compatible with me about this subject.
Tips?
My issue runs deep, but to make this post short, I’m just gonna bring up a specific problem I actively wanna change right now or understand why I do it.
I realized that I don’t like doing new things with people. I despise doing a new activity or going to a new place with someone else. I realized that I prefer going to that place or doing that activity alone first. Only then do I feel comfortable doing it with others.
Example: A friend of mine recently moved in with me. She loves going to the gym, and she told me she would love to have me accompany her. I’ve never been to the gym. However, I always wanted to, but I always found an excuse not to go (I don’t have gym clothes, I’m anxious around people, etc.). In the end, she managed to persuade me, and I did start a membership. I went with her two times and then never went again. But then, when she left, I did go two times and suddenly felt motivated to go. Honestly, I’m still not going a lot. However, I found myself more willing to go when she isn’t going with me, or more specifically, when I don’t have to go at the same time she can. I don’t know, this is weird, and it does feel like an asshole move. But now, if she asks, I would go with her since I’ve already had the experience of going alone.
The second example, which I’m struggling with now, is going to a bar or club with her. Before this year, I had never been to a bar or drank alcohol. The first time I did, it was with a friend who is experienced with drinking and clubbing, so I always kind of relied on her to tell me what to drink, etc., as a beginner because I didn’t want to get too drunk. I don’t have much contact with this friend anymore, and now the friend from the first example is asking me to go out with her to drink, have fun, dance, etc. (She has never drank before.) I dread doing this with just her and me. I lowkey relied on that other friend too much, and I don’t know if I can do this on my own. So I always decline and say, "Maybe another time," when in reality the reason is simply that I’m not experienced with drinking, I don’t know how to order a drink, and I don’t know if we’re gonna be safe. I always think about maybe trying it alone first and then accepting her request.
So I noticed this pattern about myself. How can I change this about me? Or is it a normal thing to prefer experiencing something alone before sharing it with other people?
What a sweet looking child, surely nothing bad could come from him, right?
I always wondered this about Ilay. Sometimes it’s hard for me to understand him, as always. But this one thing in particular just doesn’t make sense to me.
The sex between Iltae in the first book (and also at the beginning of Diaphonic Symphonia) was rape at worst or dub-con at best; we all agree on that part. With that being said, during the more dubious scenes, I think Taeui once expressed that if it weren’t for Ilay’s big dick, he wouldn’t mind having sex with him. Ilay is well aware that Taeui doesn’t enjoy being penetrated by him for the sole reason that it’s painful as fuck for him. What I don’t understand is why Ilay never made any effort to prepare Taeui or at least use lube (he knows what lube is; he did use it once, but halfway through, when the damage was already done).
Because for me, I think the sex between them was a huge barrier in their relationship, and I once joked that Ilay’s dick has more plot relevancy than we might think (I still stand by this lol). Like, idk, if Ilay really wanted Taeui so badly, maybe if he had made an effort early on to make it easier for Taeui, he might have warmed up to him faster (Taeui is a simple man).
Unless Ilay truly believed that Taeui somehow enjoyed having sex with him. Maybe I’m putting Ilay on a pedestal, and he’s actually kind of dumb, idk. This claim comes from the scene where Ilay was venting to Gable, and he said, and I quote: “Let me tell you, he doesn’t actually hate it… Even if at first he said it was uncomfortable because he felt tired and demeaned, eventually he would give in and accept it. He said there were times when he felt like he was losing his mind. So, I just did it naturally.” (This is from the novel; the translation might be off)
“So, even if he cries, it’s not really crying, right?”
I also attached the manhwa version of the same conversation, which makes it even more explicit how delusional Ilay is.
I’m starting to think that Ilay didn’t really understand how painful and awful penetration felt for Taeui… or he just didn’t give a fuck (though I find that one hard to believe).
What do you think? What's his thought process about this?
Repost fixed image and text issues