u/not_so_french

context ; I'm male 32, dad is 75yo, mom 73yo, brother is 42 and intellectually disabled. He live alone on welfare in a town 1h15min away from me, our parents lives in a little town 50min away from my place and 20 minutes away from my parents home. He tried really hard to finish second year of secondary school (Canada, Québec), but failed even with specializes classes and many tries. He lives on welfare in a subsidized appartement. He don't drive a car(can't it's too complicated). He work in a water bottling business to occupy himself. My mom control most of his savings and budget. He make his own budget, but monitored by my mom. I always found him very annoying and clingy. He is weird and impulsive. I try to avoid him. I visit my parents at anniversaries and Christmas and new year eve and mothers day, etc.

I can barely endure my dad. He is just so self centered, egoistic and prone to anger issue. Everything has to be about him. He don't trust me with anything and don't encourage me in anything because he thinks it's too hard for me. He is a know it all guy too.

I like my mom, but she also thinks I can't do anything, and said I should not do university because it's unrealistic. Both are blue collar. My mom was a auxiliary nurses for 32 years, and my dad was many thing, welder, forest technician, carpenter, town civil inspector, and in the last 10 years before his retirement, civil servant organizing mobile travel for justice court across nunavik(great north of Québec, a huge area with many little native americans village, they don't have a permanent justice professional office of course, so the government send judge and prosecutor and defendant, etc all across the nunavik and my dad was the travel manager so workers don't have to think about the logistics and just concentrate on their job). Anyway.

My brother has been visiting our 72yo Aunt for decades every summer. Now she's barely moving, she's too weak and sick to move around and my brother replaced her with me as a tourist guide.

He invite himself to people house, me included. And if you politely refuse, he finds all sorts of reason to come to your house. If I refuse he start to huff, pout and sulk and look at me angry like I betrayed him or something. I remember this time during supper when he just fixated me for 3 minutes straight with an angry and confused face because I avoided and refused all his invitation to go out to bars or to his place and told him to find something interesting to do because I will not go to his place just to watch TV and do nothing. I kid you not, I went to his place two times and it sucks so much! We just sat watching old x files shows and he said nothing. He just wanted me to be there. Anyway, I told him that supper, "what?! you want my photo?" after supper, and came to tell me he didn't not like the way I talked to him. I told him :so what? you're fixing me and you're annoying. I don't care you don't like how I talked to you, you're acting weird. Just don't do annoying things and stop looking at me like that. I will not excuse myself for that. Anything else?"

He is just like a 7 yo who can't take no for an answer.

I obliged two times, it was okay, we went hiking, and did bowling and escape room. I managed to stop him to invite himself to sleep over gladly. But I just don't want to see him.

If I explain him why, which is, I just don't like him because he is annoying, every family visit will be worse.

"Hola hermano, I'm going to come spend a weekend in Amos, at our aunt in July, I'll confirm the date with you so we can do an activity on Saturday or Sunday. I loved the game where we had to solve puzzles near your place, or you can find something else, I'll pay you back for part of it. I give you carte blanche to find an activity."

"We'll call each other beforehand, worst case."

I just said, "ok, we'll see.".

I start to understand why my dad is so rough with us. My dad just start talking loud and say enough is enough, that's it. My parents always had to put a hard stop on him. Because he just don't understand no. He don't get body language z he don't understand second degree or reading between lines. He is just a kid annoying people to get what he wants until you become angry at him because he put so much pressure on you. My mom very often have to explain him, calmly, "you have to stop. we finished talking about that, get over it. You have difficulties with that. Just get over it, it's enough. ok?" Then he continues rambling.

I think his behavior, and how my parents had to cope with that destroyed my relationship with my parents, especially my dad. They treats me like him. I just can't explain myself z can't talk about my needs or feeling, it's just dismiss as a tantrum. So I learned to keep anything and everything to myself and not count on my parents to understand me.

Vos taux de matches sur tinder.

32yo, How bad is it? Can I still have long hair, pompadour style or dr chase style? Or I should go only short hair?

How to say refuse meeting with my brother(intelectually disabled).

32 yo very first 10 000$ saved, debt free.