Hallo zusammen, ich will mich demnächst wieder ans Online Dating wagen mit dem Ziel, eine feste Beziehung zu finden. Letztes Jahr habe ich dafür Bumble genutzt, aber meine Freundinnen meinten, momentan sei Hinge eher der Standard. Was sind eure Erfahrungen, findet ihr Bumble oder Hinge besser? :)
For context, I've always been an introvert and I've been really shy growing up. I've managed to come out of my shell way more when talking to strangers or making friends, but it's especially hard for me when I have romantic feelings for someone. Possibly because despite being in my early twenties, I've never been in a relationship before and I've only experienced unrequited crushes. Being vulnerable always feels quite scary to me.
Recently, I developed a crush on someone I met through university. We never had any group projects together but our friend groups ended up overlapping, so we often had lunch together and also saw each other at activities and plans outside of uni. He kept initiating conversations with me despite his closer friends being present, kept remembering details about me, was an attentive listener and asked questions often. Overall, I thought we got along really well and started crushing on him at some point.
A few weeks ago, our studies ended, many moved out of town and therefore I knew I wouldn't keep seeing him accidentally. I mustered up the courage to text him for the first time because I thought maybe we're both too cautious to keep in touch online since we always talked in person. I was hoping to get to know him better, maybe even just as friends, but when he replied, his response was really dry and he didn't continue the conversation at all. 😭 Nothing like the conversations we had in real life.
I'm glad I have my answer now but I'm still disappointed because I thought we had a good connection that he would naturally want to deepen it as well. I'm probably even more bummed out because I dared to make a move and this crush and my hope ended rather abruptly. I know I'll get over it, but I feel like I just suck at love so far 🙁
Hi there! Unfortunately, I have a history of always crushing on people that do not like me back.
I wouldn't say those crushes were unrealistic or out of reach for me. I usually either met them on dating apps, met them during my studies or got to know them through friends. So it's not like I never hung out with them and barely knew them.
We usually got along well but they only saw me as a platonic friend or liked someone else, which of course is absolutely valid. I have also had to reject a few people because I was on the other end, so I know how that feels. Still, it can feel very discouraging if it keeps happening. I have never had someone I liked like me back that way.
How do you usually deal with unrequited feelings and how do you not lose hope in love in general?
(I feel like I've gotten better at recognizing when signals are only platonic, yet it does hurt every time and it doesn't make me more optimistic about ever finding a partner.)
Hi everyone! I don't have a lot of dating experience, I've had some unrequited crushes and have also turned down people in the past, no relationship so far.
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Growing up, I've always felt alienated because I didn't have a dating life, no first kiss as a teenager and so on. Since I mostly have female friends to this day, I rarely get to know men I get along with well.
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I think due to all that, I sometimes question my feelings. For example, there's a guy at my university that I somewhat like. However, I keep asking myself if it's a genuine crush with good chemistry or if it's just someone nice treating me politely and remembering some things about me. (That immediately makes me feel seen and understood in a way that I always long for in human connections).
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So how do I know if I'm crushing on him because we actually have potential or because I haven't had much experience with men which might make friendly attention seem special? 🫤
Aufgrund der vielen Kinderwunsch Fragen heute geht es bei mir in die andere Richtung :D
Ich bin noch recht jung aber weiß schon seit einigen Jahren, dass ich mir keine Kinder wünsche. Gibt es bestimmte Orte, an denen man besonders häufig Männer antrifft, die die gleiche Einstellung haben? Also z.B. bei bestimmten Hobbys oder beruflichen Tätigkeiten, die sehr zeitintensiv sind?
(Abgesehen von den spezifischen Online Communities und den Dating Apps, da sieht man es ja oft im Profil).
Ich bin gespannt, ob es da Muster gibt oder ich mich einfach auf den Zufall verlassen muss, daher haut gerne mal raus :)
EDIT: Ich suche gerade nicht aktuell, wäre für mich dann eher in so 1-2 Jahren revelanter, also spart auch die Anfragen, auch wenn sie sicher nett sind 😅
Hi an alle, ich habe momentan sowas wie einen "Freundschafts-Crush", also ich wäre echt gerne mit einem Kommilitonen von meiner Uni befreundet :D
Das "Problem" an der Sache: Abgesehen von meinen Brüdern und ihren Freunden ist mein Freundeskreis fast ausschließlich weiblich. Mir fällt es anscheinend leichter, Freundschaften mit anderen Frauen zu schließen als mit Männern.
Er und ich teilen ein paar Interessen und unterhalten uns ab und zu, wenn sich die Gelegenheit ergibt (wir haben ein paar gemeinsame Kurse). Die Gespräche sind mit ihm sehr leicht, aber passieren eigentlich nur an der Uni. Wir sind da ohnehin in verschiedenen Freundesgruppen, also bleibt oft jeder bei sich.
Theoretisch hätte ich seine Nummer und sein Social Media, aber plötzlich aus dem Nichts das erste Mal eine Direktnachricht zu schreiben kommt mir ziemlich unnatürlich vor.
Habt ihr irgendwelche Tipps für mich, wie ich das Ganze mehr in Richtung Freundschaft statt nur Bekanntschaft bewegen könnte? :)
Today, I had a conversation with my friend and we asked ourselves how hard it would be to find someone to date if we limited ourselves to those people that fulfill all the standards that we do.
For example, I don't smoke and already look to date men who don't smoke either. I'm rather tall, so I'd like someone else who is tall and so on.
However, if I wanted a partner to tick all the same boxes (which thankfully, I don't, it's great we're all unique people), I'd have to look for someone doing their master's degree on top of that, someone who's a solid dancer, the list continues.
So, for a fun thought experiment: How hard do you think it would be find someone that fulfills all the expectations you do in your dating pool?
Hi zusammen, ich gehe im Sommer auf ein Konzert und würde mein Make-Up dazu gerne mit Eyeliner komplettieren.
Ich bin was das angeht leider noch nicht so geübt und komme daher mit den Eyelinern am besten klar, die sich wie ein Stift in der Hand halten und auftragen lassen. Anders als Liquid Liners mit einer Tube (falls ihr versteht, was ich meine).
Ich wäre sehr dankbar, wenn ihr gute Empfehlungen für einen Eyeliner, Kajal etc habt, der leicht aufzutragen ist, aber nicht so schnell verschmiert. Im Regal finde ich nämlich sonst nur wasserfeste Produkte, die aber eben nicht wie ein Stift funktionieren oder umgekehrt. 😅
Hey there! I've been on plenty of first dates by now and the more I went on dates, the more I turned into a laid-back version of myself while talking to them. (Although maybe that sometimes happened because I quickly realized I didn't see them as a suitable romantic option for myself).
However, I then matched with a man that was 100% my type visually speaking. We went on a few dates and I suddenly was super nervous again, maybe even a little insecure because I thought he was more conventionally attractive than me. Has that ever happened to you? Were you able to stay calm or fix that extreme nervousness?