“X Totally Destroyed by Y - The One Question That Reinforces All Your Beliefs”
No, it doesn’t. It never does. Clickbait sucks I’m generally but this is the worst version, please just get out of my YouTube algorithm.
I see a lot of posts either asking for recs with good grovel or complaining that a character didn’t grovel enough. If the MMC needs to grovel that also means he messed up bad, so it’s extremely popular for readers to demand a big mess up -> realization he messed up -> desperate begging for forgiveness.
Is this readers wanting an apology from someone who hurt them? Is there an incomparable level of vulnerability required by someone acknowledging a mistake? Do we all want to believe that things can get better after they go bad? Are we recreating Pride and Prejudice but sexy and desperate?
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve enjoyed stories with good grovel, like {Exit, Pursued by a Baron by Aydra Richards} but this is such a common request that I’m really curious why people want these scenes so badly.
Edit to add what I’m seeing so far:
There’s a lot of cases where we’ve seen men screw up royally, either in real life or in fiction, without accountability. Recreating that in another book but adding a good grovel scene satisfies that unaddressed tension
It is a powerful, angst-driven moment with a lot of strong feelings and we love that catharsis
Writing good grovel is a very particular skill that is often attempted, but rarely accomplished. It’s like seeing a quadruple axle in an ice skating competition. Excellence is always satisfying and when you see it once you want to experience it again
There’s something satisfying in the change in power dynamic from “he can ruin her life and sense of self” to “he has to beg for scraps of affection and she controls whatever happens next”
One more addition: it’s a kink, maybe something related to domination or humiliation, but a kink regardless
“She also says she’s never been through menopause. At her age? Really?”
- overheard on a seafood restaurant patio