I am so tired
When I was in eighth grade, a few months before graduation, I got pulled into a meeting with my mom and principal and told I couldn’t graduate with the class I’d been with since kindergarten because my mom was behind on my tuition. I knew we weren’t well off but I hadn’t know the extent of until then.y mom used the shocked tears she knew I’d shed as leverage to convince the principal to let me finish.
Two months into sophomore year of high school, that principal pulled me aside and told me my tuition from the last year hadn’t been paid and I wasn’t allowed back on Monday.
I started my senior year late and in a third school because of her inability to handle finances.
In my 20s I cleaned out my bank account to get her out of a hotel because she was evicted.
Pre-Covid, I did it again.
Post-Covid, I made the mistake of a lifetime and ended up having to file bankruptcy because of her negligence and my stupidity in letting her use my name for something.
I blocked her, bided my time rebuilding yet again, and was eventually able to leave the state to start over.
Today I’ve gotten nonstop messages from family I haven’t heard from in years because she estranged us from them. ‘Why are you being so heartless? Your mom’s on the street. She has no one. You’re her daughter.’
I have always been expected to clean up her messes. I finally say no and I’m shamed by family I barely know. Life is exhausting.