u/oldschoolfan23

I can say I'm not the biggest redstone guy, so figuring the lamps out was a bit of a hassle lol.

Hey, friends. I recently booted up my favorite version of Minecraft that I hadn't played in months. Silver age really is an underrated gem, isn't it?

Seed is "Sprite"

im not even sure anybody cares but whatever. I'm autistic and transfem (the two are a painful fucking mix), and I despise myself. I'll quickly explain why -

so I was having a psychotic episode about 3 years ago and ended up traumatizing a family member and potentially giving her ptsd. I made her watch me cut my skin, I physically assaulted her, that kind of bullshit. Now she doesn't come out of her room because she's so fuckin terrified that I'm going do it again.

Now, she's mentally ill and doesn't take care of herself. nobody acknowledges the fact that this shit is MY fault and keeps lying to me telling me this isn't. every day, I cut myself knowing that this shit is never going to be made up in any way.

Another thing I should talk about is the fact that I seek male attention online because I don't have a partner in any way, shape, or form. When I was younger, I was in this snapchat group and got violently groomed by multiple men above 25. and I loved it for a bit. I'm fucked up saying that of course because this was jut pure degeneracy that nobody should ever have to experience. they eventually left me after I was washed up (their words not mine).

these fuckers manipulated a very vulnerable, at the time, 13 y old into essentially becoming their sex slave. it was the only real attention I ever had from someone that wasn't a family member or teacher. I don't know if anybody here would understand but that kind of attention is addictive in a way no other drug can give you. You constantly seek it until you're a shell of a human that you used to be.

as a result of this, I've been desensitized to the worst shit imaginable, like I don't even care if I was groomed anymore.

this is way longer then I was planning on yammering my fucking useless mouth on for but whatever. I hope someone understands.

- jade, fucked up transfem.

I hate everything about myself. I've hurt people I love because I felt like it. I want to rip my veins out of my body and strangle myself with them.

I despise my body, it doesn't look feminine and cute. I'm too tall to pass 😂😂

I despise my autism, It doesn't do anything good for me. I feel like such a burden to everybody that I try to vent to holy shit.

porn fucked EVERYTHING up for me. it made me jerk to more and more degenerate shit until I don't feel anything anymore. it turned me into an abuser. fuck my stupid transgender life 😂🥹