u/omserdah

I’m looking for honest advice from people who have been in similar situations, especially those familiar with Muslim or long-distance relationships.

About 4 months ago, I was introduced to a potential spouse through mutual friends. I asked a friend, whose wife knows people back home, to share my photo with someone she thought might be compatible. She saw my picture, was interested, and we started talking.

From day one, I made it clear that my intention was marriage as soon as we both felt comfortable. I wasn’t looking to date casually or waste anyone’s time.
Fast forward four months, and we’ve become very compatible. We talk throughout the day, have FaceTimed multiple times, and genuinely enjoy each other’s company. Our values, goals, personalities, and communication styles seem to match really well. Both of our mothers know about us, and the current plan is for my family to travel in December so I can meet her father and, if everything goes well, get engaged.

Here’s what’s making me nervous:

Although we’ve spent hundreds of hours talking online and have seen each other over video, we’ve never actually met in person. Because of cultural and religious expectations, it would be difficult for me to travel there just to spend time with her privately before involving her family.

The plan is that once I arrive, I’ll meet her father first, then we’ll meet a few times in the presence of her wali/chaperone before making the final decision about the engagement.

Part of me feels confident because of how well we’ve gotten to know each other. Another part of me worries that in-person chemistry can be different from online chemistry, and I don’t want either of us to feel pressured.

Has anyone gone through something similar? Did meeting in person change how you felt, either positively or negatively? Does this seem like a reasonable approach, or would you recommend trying to arrange an in-person meeting before taking the engagement step?

I’d appreciate honest opinions from both people who think this is a good idea and those who think it’s risky.

I’m looking for honest advice from people who have been in similar situations, especially those familiar with Muslim or long-distance relationships.

About 4 months ago, I was introduced to a potential spouse through mutual friends. I asked a friend, whose wife knows people back home, to share my photo with someone she thought might be compatible. She saw my picture, was interested, and we started talking.

From day one, I made it clear that my intention was marriage as soon as we both felt comfortable. I wasn’t looking to date casually or waste anyone’s time.
Fast forward four months, and we’ve become very compatible. We talk throughout the day, have FaceTimed multiple times, and genuinely enjoy each other’s company. Our values, goals, personalities, and communication styles seem to match really well. Both of our mothers know about us, and the current plan is for my family to travel in December so I can meet her father and, if everything goes well, get engaged.

Here’s what’s making me nervous:

Although we’ve spent hundreds of hours talking online and have seen each other over video, we’ve never actually met in person. Because of cultural and religious expectations, it would be difficult for me to travel there just to spend time with her privately before involving her family.

The plan is that once I arrive, I’ll meet her father first, then we’ll meet a few times in the presence of her wali/chaperone before making the final decision about the engagement.

Part of me feels confident because of how well we’ve gotten to know each other. Another part of me worries that in-person chemistry can be different from online chemistry, and I don’t want either of us to feel pressured.

Has anyone gone through something similar? Did meeting in person change how you felt, either positively or negatively? Does this seem like a reasonable approach, or would you recommend trying to arrange an in-person meeting before taking the engagement step?

I’d appreciate honest opinions from both people who think this is a good idea and those who think it’s risky.