u/onlyslightlyawkward

Self-explanatory title: been working as a brand designer for the past four years but now with the evil conquest of AI (ew) I’ve been seriously considering diversifying into a field that is more human, hands on and (what I hope is) “future proof”.

I majored in graphic design in uni, but dabbled in a bit of everything (UX, UI, research) before finding my niche in branding and visual identity and I truuly enjoy what I do. I have a little bit of UI in my portfolio but mostly visual identity and brand strategy work.

Please tell me —

How can I break into this field? How do I gain a footing? I’ve been considering doing my masters in Service Design, to gain more hands on experience and to make connections (I’m thinking of the programmes at UAL and RCA at the moment). Is this truly necessary? Or can I get away with doing one of their short courses, considering I do have a tiny bit of knowledge in user research?

Any advice is truly appreciated, thank you! :)

I’ve been married for a few months, to a religious man from a culture that’s slightly different from mine. Alhamdulillah we have a lovely relationship and we got on great right from the beginning. My greatest hurdle in this marriage so far though has been his family. He comes from a much bigger, extroverted family than mine and I know I sound terrible saying this but they’re not exactly people of class or very cultured. And to be very clear, it’s not about wealth or income status.

We live abroad in our own home, with not much of his immediate family around. It’s not that they’ve been outright terrible to me but there have been instances now and then in our few months of marriage where their behaviour hurt me deeply and made me realise very early on that these were people very different from mine and our relationship would be best kept at a firm distance, for everyone’s betterment. My in-laws (i.e his parents and siblings) have been much the same with me; I give them the energy that I receive, we talk maybe every other week and I pay them a visit fairly often. I have been doing my best to be cordial, respectful and accommodating with them, tagging along for family visits and hosting his family over for iftar or meals whenever possible. Whatever he wishes to do for his family, I have never once stopped his efforts or been selfish with what/how he chooses to be with them or spend on them.

This is however not enough for my husband and he feels like I’m not doing enough for them and I’m doing the bare minimum, maybe even less to please them and my discomfort in their presence is plain as day. I’ve made it clear my responsibilities in Islam are towards him and him alone, that if at all there is anything I do for my in laws, it is purely out of my goodwill. He wants me to love them and cherish them and see them like my own parents and be eager to be in their presence almost. How can when I know my every move is being analysed and scrutinised and nitpicked without any words even being said? (sometimes they are though)

We’ve been getting into frequent arguments over this now that his parents are visiting. Our months old relationship is already stained dark with constant fights over his family and I know deep down we harbour deep resentments towards each other. My husband simply fails to understand that this what I’m like as an individual — that I’m very reserved and introverted by nature and that I’m mature enough to understand where to draw the line with the people in my life. I know this is an age old problem, faced by most brown women at some point in their marriage, but I’d truly appreciate a solution and any advice please. Jazakhallah khair.