u/oopsitsindigoo

I hate this virus and what it’s done to my body and my confidence, not to mention the toll it’s taken on my mental health. My dermatologist says I have a rare, widespread case and that my mollusucm does not look like textbook MC at all. However the biopsy confirmed it is in fact MC. He doubted it at first, but reassured me I was right and have a very good eye to be able to see the microscopic lesions. They now don’t want to even curate anymore lesions off because of how many are all over my body.

He says that they never see them widespread on adults with healthy immune systems. I never even get sick, and I have no health issues. I’ve tried so many different things and nothing really seems to be helping. I’m at such a loss. My life feels non existent and I really have suicidal thoughts a lot since having this virus. I am a women and cannot shave. I feel disgusting and gross, and I don’t even enjoy showers anymore. I know this can go away at some point but with as many on my body, it feels like it’ll never end. And more and more just keep coming. I could have one on my leg and than the next week it’ll be another on my face or arm. It makes no sense at all.

Knowing something like this exists on this earth makes me want to not reside here. Before this virus I’ve always been a very happy, go lucky, optimistic person. I’ve always seen the brighter sides of things, and even help and encourage others to do so. I just don’t see light at the end of the tunnel with this. I’ve had this for an entire year already and I just wish this nightmare were over. I don’t know how to cope anymore. All I do is cry, loathe and get discouraged because despite all efforts, they just keep coming😢 I genuinely hate this so so much, I don’t know how much longer I can continue on with this.

I post this as I wonder if anyone else has ever felt the same.

Let me start off by saying I had a very rough childhood because I’ve always rejected to conform to society, and authority. Anytime I would get punished, or frustrated as a child with society and how we operate as a society, I’d run and lock myself in a room, or my own room, and I would sit there and say “I want to go home.” I would do this as young as 4 or 5 years old.

It’s funny because even throughout my growing years I still tend to do this at almost 26 years old. I just long for a place that isn’t here. I struggle so much trying to fit in with the normalities of society. Keeping a job, amounting to the social normalities, things along those lines. I feel it is harder for me than the typical human. I wish I could, because I feel like life would be so much easier if I could just get on board- but it’s so hard for me, and my soul rejects it.

Does anyone else feel this way?

Hi guys! I had some questions about the hollows when getting skates sharpened. I do a lot of edge work, in fact it’s my favorite thing. I’m not sure what my skates were sharpened at when first getting them, because the guy didn’t tell me. I weigh about 175lbs, and the blades lasted me about 3 months before needing them sharpened again. However, once I knew I needed them sharpened again, I did some research and decided to go for 9/16, since they did not do 1/2 at my rink. I’ve skated less than 6 hours on the ice & theres literally no bite to my blade at all, and my skate was skidding around. Doing basic things were hard, and I had to work much harder to achieve them.. The first couple hours on the 9/16 seemed great, but I definitely do not like them so dull. I am trying 7/16 now and hope that I will enjoy them. I definitely like edge work and biting my skates into the ice, so I am hoping I’m making the right decision!