u/opheliaorsomething

Mom smokes cigarettes while washing dishes
She never leaves the kitchen
All she does is cook food that no one ever eats
and drink wine
and smoke more cigarettes
She makes sure we all know
how miserable she is
doing all she does for us
She never stops, doesn’t have the time
too busy being a good mom
and telling us how much we need her
She liked me best when I left her alone
I liked her best when I did too

Dad is always at one of two places
either asleep on the couch,
or face down in our driveway
He spends his free time being yelled at by Mom
“Michael! Damn it! Take out this trash!
Switch the laundry! Open this bottle!
You drunk piece of shit!
I’m pouring your liquor down the goddamn sink!
MICHAEL!!!!!! I’M NOT DOING EVERYTHING!”
He just grunts and stands up
muttering “I’m coming woman”
then he does … well … everything

Dad never yells or complains
just quietly endures
after he’s done everything demanded
he sits outside in his rocking chair
and drinks until he falls out of it
then crawls through the front door
and stumbles to his couch
He liked me best when I would shut up
I understood why
and we never talked much after that

I learned early that love was granted
to good girls who shut up and go away
I got really good at it
living inside of my head
being raised by the voice inside it
It became my super power
I wore my lonely like a cape
and no one seemed to notice
when I turned invisible one day

I’m not sure when it happened exactly
I just know I became a shadow
before I ever figured out how to cast one
I was a ghost before I ever had the chance
to be a person
I felt like the best daughter in the world
only no one could see me
I was an invisible kid
who spent her entire childhood
learning how to be seen
by two parents who hated
the sound of her voice

Just to grow up and realize
that they never would
It’s too late
It can’t be done
Besides
I’ve already built my whole life
out of not bothering anyone

(Please let me know your thoughts and if you relate, I’d love to hear them. I also need a title if anyone has a good suggestion)

Mom smokes cigarettes while washing dishes
She never leaves the kitchen
All she does is cook food that no one ever eats
and drink wine
and smoke more cigarettes
She makes sure we all know
how miserable she is
doing all she does for us
She never stops, doesn’t have the time
too busy being a good mom
and telling us how much we need her
She liked me best when I left her alone
I liked her best when I did too

Dad is always at one of two places
either asleep on the couch,
or face down in our driveway
He spends his free time being yelled at by Mom
“Michael! Damn it! Take out this trash!
Switch the laundry! Open this bottle!
You drunk piece of shit! TELL ME WHERE IT IS!
I’m pouring your liquor down the goddamn sink!
MICHAEL!!!!!! I’M NOT DOING EVERYTHING!”
He just grunts and stands up
mutters “alright, I’m coming woman”
then does … well … everything

Dad never yells or complains
just quietly endures
after he’s done everything demanded
he sits outside in his rocking chair
and drinks until he falls out of it
then crawls through the front door
and stumbles to his couch
He liked me best when I would shut up
I understood why
and we never talked much after that

I learned early that love was granted
to good girls who shut up and go away
I got really good at it
living inside of my head
and being raised by the voice inside it
It became my super power
I wore my lonely like a cape
and no one seemed to notice
when I turned invisible one day

I’m not sure when it happened exactly
I just know I became a shadow
before I ever figured out how to cast one
I was a ghost before I ever had the chance
to be a person
I felt like the best daughter in the world
only no one could see me
I was an invisible kid
who spent her entire childhood
learning how to be seen
by two parents who hated
the sound of her voice

Just to grow up and realize
that they never would
It’s too late
It can’t be done
And besides
I’ve already built my whole life
out of not bothering anyone

(Please let me know your thoughts and if you relate, I’d love to hear them. I also need a title if anyone has a good suggestion)

Mom smokes cigarettes while washing dishes
She never leaves the kitchen
All she does is cook food that no one ever eats
and drink wine
and smoke more cigarettes
She makes sure we all know
how miserable she is
doing all she does for us
She never stops, doesn’t have the time
too busy being a good mom
and telling us how much we need her
She liked me best when I left her alone
I liked her best when I did too

Dad is always at one of two places
either asleep on the couch,
or face down in our driveway
He spends his free time being yelled at by Mom
“Michael! Damn it! Take out this trash!
Switch the laundry! Open this bottle!
You drunk piece of shit! TELL ME WHERE IT IS!
I’m pouring your liquor down the goddamn sink!
MICHAEL!!!!!! I’M NOT DOING EVERYTHING!”
He just grunts and stands up
mutters “alright, I’m coming woman”
then does … well … everything

Dad never yells or complains
just quietly endures
after he’s done everything demanded
he sits outside in his rocking chair
and drinks until he falls out of it
then crawls through the front door
and stumbles to his couch
He liked me best when I would shut up
I understood why
and we never talked much after that

I learned early that love was granted
to good girls who shut up and go away
I got really good at it
living inside of my head
and being raised by the voice inside it
It became my super power
I wore my lonely like a cape
and no one seemed to notice
when I turned invisible one day

I’m not sure when it happened exactly
I just know I became a shadow
before I ever figured out how to cast one
I was a ghost before I ever had the chance
to be a person
I felt like the best daughter in the world
only no one could see me
I was an invisible kid
who spent her entire childhood
learning how to be seen
by two parents who hated
the sound of her voice

Just to grow up and realize
that they never would
It’s too late
It can’t be done
And besides
I’ve already built my whole life
out of not bothering anyone

Hey, I wrote a poem this morning. I tried writing from the eyes of my innerchild, not an adult looking back and understanding emotional neglect. But more like the blueprint of how a child adapts to emotional neglect and how she obliviously learned that love is earned through self erasure. Let me know your thoughts and if you relate! Thanks!

(Still lost on title, this is early in the works)

Mom smokes cigarettes while washing dishes
She never leaves the kitchen
All she does is cook food that no one ever eats
and drink wine
and smoke more cigarettes
She makes sure we all know
how miserable she is
doing all she does for us
She never stops, doesn’t have the time
too busy being a good mom
and telling us how much we need her
She liked me best when I left her alone
I liked her best when I did too

Dad is always at one of two places
either asleep on the couch,
or face down in our driveway
He spends his free time being yelled at by Mom
“Michael! Damn it! Take out this trash!
Switch the laundry! Open this bottle!
You drunk piece of shit! TELL ME WHERE IT IS!
I’m pouring your liquor down the goddamn sink!
MICHAEL!!!!!! I’M NOT DOING EVERYTHING!”
He just grunts and stands up
mutters “alright, I’m coming woman”
then does … well … everything

Dad never yells or complains
just quietly endures
after he’s done everything demanded
he sits outside in his rocking chair
and drinks until he falls out of it
then crawls through the front door
and stumbles to his couch
He liked me best when I would shut up
I understood why
and we never talked much after that

I learned early that love was granted
to good girls who shut up and go away
I got really good at it
living inside of my head
and being raised by the voice inside it
It became my super power
I wore my lonely like a cape
and no one seemed to notice
when I turned invisible one day

I’m not sure when it happened exactly
I just know I became a shadow
before I ever figured out how to cast one
I was a ghost before I ever had the chance
to be a person
I felt like the best daughter in the world
only no one could see me
I was an invisible kid
who spent her entire childhood
learning how to be seen
by two parents who hated
the sound of her voice

Just to grow up and realize
that they never would
It’s too late
It can’t be done
And besides
I’ve already built my whole life
out of not bothering anyone