u/ophiliaa

25F.
freelancer.
travelled to two SEA countries before.
two visa rejections (usa and schengen)
most of my liquid savings are in crypto. bank balance: 4lacs/ 4k usd.
my mexican boyfriend will be my host.
dyou guys think it will get accepted?
what else can i do to make my aplication more solid?

for a couple of months i’ve had doubts that my bf of 4 months is a narc.
he was super charming and confident at first. he seemed carefree, very self content and very happy.
then the suble red flags:

1. he never asks about me. he kees talking about himself, his experiences. i feel he is not curious about me at all.
2. all his jokes are appreciative towards him and deprecating towards me. He jokingly appreciates his looks, his writing, his work. but he never compliments me.
3. he keeps belittling me, he keeps fussing about me not doing things right. he is 8 years my senior. just by that virtue he is better than me at things or more mature. at first i didnt know how to react because his remarks were borderline offensive, disguised at jokes. he also says things very bluntly—he called me dumb on my face, he said i have the body of a boy (im skinny).
4. i feel at times he lacks empathy for me. i remember this one day i had an episode i was crying and crying and maybe i had pushed him to his limits. he became so apathetic. i told him i feel like dying- he just dismmised me. but i see him talk very kindly to disadvantaged people and he goves big tips (is that a show?)
5. he glorifies his nonchalance. he keeps reiterating how much he doesnt care and how unaffected he is . i also feel his ego is very fragile. he gets offended easily when i joke a little. ive seen his conduct with other people as well. he seems entitled at times.

ive heard narcs dont have long term friends. but he seems to have plenty (he’s also very very accomplished and helps his friends get a lot of work so i dont know?) whats the verdict?

i find myself desperately wanting to talk to my friends all the time, especially when i feel sad. at times my current friends are not enough and i find myself yearning for new connections.
im so empty and i keep filling that emptiness with people.
i feel how do you overcome this need for other people?