u/orangeonion2746

My cat got out yesterday and I’ve done all the things:
- alerted many social media and community groups , rescue groups, vets
- posted flyers
- alerted microchip company
- put out litter box and many of my dirty workout clothes on the stoop
- put his cat bed on the stoop

We’ve also walked around the neighborhood and checked the close proximity neighbor’s yards. People are nice but they don’t seem to really want to keep checking or looking for him.

Biggest problem if he is close by is that there are three feral tomcats that my next door neighbor feeds and hang out out front and back. My cat was always howling at them from the window. I think they are keeping my cat from returning and they always eat any food I put right away.

If he’s too scared to come when I call him, and I can’t access any of my reluctant neighbors yards as often as needed, what are other things I can do?

I also ordered an animal trap, but I know the trap is going to catch the strays.

My mother (age 64) was diagnosed with GP after 10 years of symptoms and finally getting a GE study. Her case is severe and she is only able to consume at most 16oz of Boost/Ensure per day. This week she has been taking care of her estate plans, and sent me her healthcare directive, which essentially dictates zero intervention beyond very temporary TPN and placement of a gastric stimulator.

She thinks she is dying, but I feel given she was very recently diagnosed, and hasn’t tried many medications yet (she’s tried a few and says they aren’t working), hasn’t had any surgeries yet, my feeling is she is just at a low point mentally and in reality she has a long road to go.

I’m not asking for medical advice, but rather some perspective on her approach. She has written in her health directive that she does not want to suffer anymore, and appears to be basically giving up, but continues to take meds, consume fluids, and communicate with her GI. There’s a long wait list for a gastric stimulator, and they won’t even give her an appointment to consult yet.

Does her outlook (that she is close to end of life) seem realistic? Or is it more likely that she is just very uncomfortable? I assume she will begin having many ER visits or just continue on this very uncomfortable path for a long time, very slowly wasting away.

I’m not sure what I’m really looking for, I guess some idea of how much urgency I should be treating this all with as I live across the country with a toddler and am her sole living child and main person supporting her health crisis/journey. I just don’t know if I should be making more of an effort to be there with her, as nothing seems to help her but she just sits around all day watching TV and sipping ensure. I have a full time job, and I know at some point I will have to go there to support her, but I’ve traveled to her several times over the past year and each time it turned out she was basically “fine” or at least there was absolutely no way for me to help her. My kid needs me, and I have to work to pay our bills.

How many folks just live in a long-term state of being borderline? And for how long? Everything I’ve read says that this is not a fatal illness, but she keeps saying it’s a death sentence, I just don’t see how unless you literally refuse to keep eating and refuse all medical care (which she isn’t doing).

ETA more info:
She is 5ft 3”, about 100lbs. Her most consistent complaint is chronic insomnia, coupled with weakness and tiredness, and occasional confusion due to lack of sleep. As far is “is she unwell” - this is extremely difficult to answer because she also does have diagnosed mania, was committed to a mental hospital when I was a child for completely mental issues (violence, hysteria, hallucinations). She has had bouts where she claims to be extremely unwell and goes to the ER and they give her IV saline and she is released as “fine” and has at least enough energy to storm out of the ER in anger and scream at the nurses. So, it’s complicated. Like she says she is weak but she also says she moved several boxes of dishes on the same day (just one example).

But to be clear - she cannot eat any solid food at all, and says she cannot drink water - she only drinks ensure/boost right now for the past few weeks.

She is on a wait list for a motility clinic - already got the referral from her GI, wait list is 3-6 months long. She is on Motegrity, but says it is not working**.** She has neuropathy related to nerve damage caused by a past treatment for Hep C, which I believe has also now been diagnosed as an autoimmune disorder. She lives in a rural area and is on Medicare, with no other insurance. Her GI is slow to respond.

She has a nutritionist, which is why she is drinking ensure - that was the nutritionists direction as she can’t eat food currently.