u/orionskittles

either to encounter in game or that you think would be terrifying irl or both

for me it's gotta be king vultures, miros birds, and miros vultures

once a king vulture shot its harpoon at me and irl i actually startled like it was actually going to hit me 😭 the amount of fear these things instill in me

also i might've made a post like this before? i don't think so but i feel like i might've so if i already have then sorry

"mourning" feels extreme but i don't know how else to describe it.

To explain my situation. I have a friend who I've known for a couple years now, and we were really close. We had a lot in common and I loved hanging out with her. Recently-ish she realized she was a system, and then me and my other friend in this friend group stopped hearing from her as often. A couple days ago I messaged her asking if she was okay because we hadn't heard from her in a while—I wasn't really thinking about the fact that she was a system because I was only vaguely aware of it at the time.

Yesterday I got a response, from an alter I'd never talked to. For simplicity I'm going to call the friend I knew originally A and the alter I talked to B (i don't feel like coming up with fake names ok). B told me that the reason we hadn't heard from them was that they didn't know us very well and that A was... well their original description was "gone to say the least"

Naturally I had questions. B said they didn't think "dormant" was the right word and that they didn't think A would come back at all.

So A is kind of just gone.

The thing here is, I only know A, not any of her alters. I was really good friends with her and now she's just...gone? But it's weird because she's not gone gone, she's physically alive, but the person I knew doesn't really exist in the same capacity anymore. Me and my other friend I mentioned earlier (I'll call them C from this point on) have been struggling with it a lot, especially because we don't feel like we can talk to anyone else because no one else we know would really understand.

Now, here's my question. I have done research on DID before so I understand it relatively well I would say, but of course I don't know what it's actually like to be a system. So I was inclined to believe B's word when they said that they thought A was permanently gone. But now I'm looking into it a little more on my own and the general consensus seems to be that hosts can't really die forever. According to B, the last anyone heard from A was three months ago, which doesn't feel like all that long of a time, so I feel like I have some hope that she'll come back. But I also feel like if B says they think A is gone forever I shouldn't contradict that, they're the one in the system, they probably understand their situation better than I do and acting like I know better is condescending.

But at the same time, I really, really want it to be possible for A to come back. I miss her so much already.

B has also said "we can't hear her, sense her, no one has seen her" and I don't know if that's normally how dormancy works. I know gatekeeper alters can have some part in this but I don't know if they have a gatekeeper and I feel like it would be weird to ask.

So that's my first question—if A is likely to return at some point, and also how long that could potentially take.

Secondly though, I'd like some advice on how to talk to B and the rest of the system now. I'm trying to get to know them, but C made a good point about how we shouldn't like, look for A in them, they're a separate person and trying to befriend them because they might remind me of A feels a little wrong. That point made me realize I had already been doing that a little bit, and ever since that realization I've felt so anxious to say or do the wrong thing. Also, talking to them makes me a little sad because I just think of A. I do want to be friends with them but also I feel like the only reason I want to is because they're all that's left of A and that feels unfair to the rest of the system. I'd just like some guidance on how to navigate this for now.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, it means a lot. This situation is so surreal and I have no idea how to navigate it at all. I appreciate you taking the time to read this even if you don't know how to help