u/oxnardov

I understand that this may be insensitive to those who struggle genuinely with mutism and the issues that come from it but I just need to know if I’m not alone in thinking this way.

I want to go mute so that people will be less likely and willing to talk and engage with me. It’s horrible but engaging with people socially at work and in society is such a dreadful part of my daily life that I just can’t help but want to just go mute

For context before anyone makes any assumptions about why I care so much about arcades and young adults: I’m a 19F. No, I am not jealous. Just frustrated.

My whole life I’ve loved arcades and claw machines, loved going to whatever small hole in the wall arcade business I could find and spending ridiculous amounts of either my money or my parents money at. They’ve always been my safe space and I’ve always gone alone.

Recently an arcade was opened smack dab in my town of high school dropouts and some of the worst teenagers you would ever meet. Immediately the place is overrun by copy and paste couples.

Now, don’t get me wrong, Arcades are a public place. I don’t care if there’s people or crowds or children (so long as they keep to themselves). Couples in particular, however, seem to know just how to make everyone else experience at an arcade miserable.

I hate them. They make it their mission to be in the way. Messing with claw machines just to cheat prizes and leaving nothing left. PDA at every goddamn corner. Loitering around like it’s just a casual get to together instead of actually enjoying the arcade for what it is.

And god forbid you stare at a girls boyfriend while waiting for him to free up a game. Didn’t need to be told I’m “not his type.” Thanks. Just wanted to play pinball.

Hi, this is my first post and also a lot but I genuinely just needed somewhere to post about this.

I (19F) went through all of my high school relatively social and with a large group of friends. Compared to my sister I was considered the more socially capable and extroverted and could make and keep friends easily. Not to glorify my past self or anything but I was a laidback and a relatively well-liked person.

But after highschool I guess the lack of forced social interaction and engagement with others really just showed my true colors.

I immediately picked up a full time job (55hrs a week) in a warehouse that unfortunately took all my time and likely played a part in a lot of my friends going distant with me. I work all day and would come home and lay in bed, ghosting people and any plans for the past year now to instead scroll on tiktok and play games by myself. It’s been a year and a half now of this routine consistently. I don’t get texts, I don’t talk to anyone, I don’t even have any of my old hobbies anymore. On the rare instances where I’m approached at work I can barely communicate and have gotten so absurdly shy and it’s even a bit difficult for me to speak physically because I barely use my voice.

In November I’ll be 20 without ever having had a boyfriend in my life, without any secondary education outside of HS, with no ambitions or goals and certainty nothing to show for anything other then becoming such a hollow shell of the person I was before.

And I don’t really mind it. I’m thinking of moving across the country away from any family and friends with the money I have and getting my own place. I don’t know why I love my own loneliness when it’s just ruining me.

Hi! Some background information that may be important:

I’m currently 19 years old and turning 20 soon and for the past 4 years i’ve wanted a hysterectomy to combat my severe dysmenorrhea I’ve suffered from since I began my period at 9 years old.

Currently I am in the process of getting tested for endometriosis, fibroids and any other potential medical reasoning for my pain but it’s unlikely due to pain being my sole symptom. (I’ll update if that changes)

My youth life has felt taken from me due to this and the resentment and dysmorphia I feel for my uterus as a whole. It’s ruined me and is destroying me mentally as it continues to remain in my body.

I have severe tokophobia, non-existent libido, and genuinely debilitating fear of my menstrual cycle pain after everything I’ve gone through. I won’t go into detail about the severity of it but take my word for it that I do not and will not ever want to have children. Birth control is not an option for me.

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A hysterectomy sounds like the holy grail to all my problems that stemmed from this hell-organ in my body and the idea that I may have to wait a decade or two just to maybe get approved for a surgery is enough to make me manic. I want it gone more then anything in my life and I can assure everyone who may see my actions as reckless or naive that I have done my research extensively over four years and weighed genuine pros and cons to having a hysterectomy (hence why I’ll keep my ovaries intact)

I’ve already gone through the list suggested in r/childfree but it seems like no doctor in my area and state performed hysterectomies specifically on someone my age for dysmenorrhea (which I’ve read isn’t technically considered a qualification for the surgery). I also would’ve posted this there but due to my account being new I haven’t been able to.

Please someone help or at the very least provide some cons and lifestyle changes that could change my mind.