How can I [27F] constructively talk to my fiancé [31M] about setting healthier boundaries with his female best friend [30F]?
I [27F] have been with my fiancé [31M] for [1,5 years], and we are currently engaged. He has a close female best friend [30F] who has been in his life for years. She is fully aware that we are engaged.
Lately, I’ve been feeling really uncomfortable with the dynamic between them. They text each other frequently, and she regularly sends him selfies and pictures of herself framed as "life updates," accompanied by texts saying "I miss you."
A while ago, I found out that he had completely deleted their conversation. This led to a major fight between us because it felt like he was actively hiding things from me. While we moved past it, the frequent texting has continued, and it’s triggering that same anxiety.
I don't want to come across as controlling, but I feel like these constant "updates" and "I miss you" texts are crossing a line now that we are building a life together, especially given the past dishonesty.
How can I approach this conversation with my fiancé to establish firm, healthy boundaries without making him defensive?