u/pacoht

Și pe deasupra și student, desi deja încep să cred că am prea multe pretenții. Vreau doar să știu dacă știți cui m-aș putea adresa ca să primesc ajutor să găsesc un job pe care pot și eu să îl fac fără să fiu o corvoadă pentru ceilalți.

Momentan lucrez de câteva luni la Kaufland, că a fost singurul job pe care l-am găsit la 4h pe timp de vară, dar trebuie să zic că nu înțeleg cum de e în top Angajatori. Constant mi se reproșează că sunt prea lentă, oricât încerc eu să mă grăbesc și să fac repede și bine, și astăzi mi-a pus capac faptul că o colegă m-a imitat cum mă bâlbâiam. Desi la interviu mi s-a spus că va exista înțelegere asupra faptului că sunt studenta, nu pot să spun că am primit prea multă înțelegere deocamdată.

Vreau doar sa știu ce pot face. Să mor nu pot, nu e nici asta o opțiune. SI până pot să profesez in domeniul în care studiez (Psihologie) mai e cale lungă. Daca nimic altceva, mi-ar plăcea macar sa mai vorbesc cu alte persoane cu dizabilități, să aud cum este pentru ele. Nu, nu sunt încadrată ca persoana cu dizabilități, din păcate, am fost demult, dar e un proces lung și dificil și trebuie reînnoit anual și nu vad atâtea beneficii ca să fiu văzută ca persoana cu dizabilități, doar șanse mai mari de discriminare (plus că mă descurc... cât de cât)

După cum am zis, m-ar bucura și doar măcar să mai aud de la alte persoane cu dizabilități. Mulțumesc pentru atenție.

I don't know how to word this. I don't even know if that's the place for it, but I sincerely don't know where I could go with it. Maybe I just need a space to put it down. I've been trying to talk about it with friends and in therapy, but I still haven't reached something that would satisfy me.

I've been obsessed about my sexuality for so long that I don't even know when it started. I've read people say that if you're attracted to men, you can't be a lesbian and that makes well enough sense except...I can't tell if I am attracted to men? Sometimes I will see some handsome men (even colleagues) or male characters and my stomach will do a swoosh sort of feeling and I will panic, thinking that I'm attracted to them. I don't know, to me it feels like it nullifies my attraction to women, that it's not as strong or as "real", although that's bullshit, since bi people exist. But it just makes me sad. And I've been wondering if perhaps I've been too attached to the label of lesbian and I've been trying to get back to the label of "queer person", which is probably the closest and best representation but I still....I love lesbian. I've been trying to see how bisexual or pansexual feel to me, but neither feel right. But I feel like I have no real right to call myself a lesbian. Even if I feel like crying even at the idea of being attracted to men, much less doing anything sexual or romantic with them (although there was One instance of a man whom I didn't hate that I had a crush on, but we were friends and I knew it wouldn't get anywhere nor did I want it to), I still feel like there's too much potential attraction to have the right to call myself a lesbian.

A part of me feels like. I should call myself just whatever I want and let people arrest me if they want for not being accurate enough or whatever, but another part is just so damn afraid. I don't know of what. I wonder if there are words of comfort that anyone can offer. And if you all think I have no right to call myself a lesbian either, I get it and sorry for bothering you. Thank you for your time.

So, today is my birthday and I felt like doing more Tarot. And I asked myself What I need to keep in mind today? And I got three of Swords, The Lovers and 10 of Pentacles. And I was a bit puzzled by the three of Swords (and an irrational part of me fearing that heartbreak was coming, as much as I try not to do or believe in predictive Tarot) and my interpretation is to be aware of the grief, not in relation to a romantic relationship, but to my trauma (that I have in relation to my birthday) and I interpreted The Lovers as less than actual lovers but the Gemini sign. Is there any other interpretation that I could offer this? I'm trying to keep an open mind and stay off the woo "bad things are coming" path. If anyone wants to see the actual spread I can also show the cards.

I'm also thinking that I was afraid of pulling three of Swords and that's exactly what I pulled. So, literally being shown what I'm afraid of, idk.

(Even if nobody responds to this, thank you for the space as it allows me to ramble on and tell my interpretations to someone at least. I don't really have anybody to talk to about Tarot)

I have no doubt this has been asked before, and even various AIs have told me that it's okay for commonplace books to be messy, but I'd like the input of actual people who have worked with commonplace books. I have a commonplace book for at least 6 months and all I have in it are like....three quotes, because I'm afraid to write anything in it. I have a bullet journal as well which is less intimidating, but I love the idea of having a notebook particularly for knowledge and trivia and quotes and other stuff that I learn and gain along the way. And I want to spark my curiosity.

But I don't know how to keep track of information. For example, if I have a page on a specific type of mushroom and then I have a page on, I don't know, particles in the Universe or how the Universe is made and then I return to mushrooms, won't that be messy? And then a page on flower symbolisms and then some random quote from a random book. I have this feeling that I'm supposed to know and study everything before I start writing in the commonplace book, and that's overwhelming and terrifying. I have a suspicion that I am wrong, but I would like to receive some human input on that.

I was thinking maybe the first commonplace page that I make would be about commonplace books. That seems interesting enough and could give me ideas on how to continue the notebook.

Also, is it okay to just randomly share quotes from books? I have a tendency to start multiple books and I don't write only from one book, what if the quotes are messy?

Thank you for your patience so far with me! Looking forward to receiving your responses.

I've seen that a lot of people seem to discard jumpers and only take what they themselves pull. But my problem is that I ALWAYS get jumpers. I don't know if it's because I got sweaty hands or if I'm shuffling wrong that I can't shuffle without jumpers, but I always get jumpers and often time I feel like the jumpers are more accurate than whenever I get to pull by myself. I can make sense of the jumpers, but if I just pull myself...then it doesn't make as much sense. Am I doing this wrong?

Hello! Me again. Thank you guys for replying to my previous post. It was very insightful and I really like the answers I received. I really connected to some of them. If you see it and you want to give your opinion, please don't stop. I find them useful regardless.

Now I was wondering...well, basically what the title says. When I learned tarot the first time, I was told to connect to the cards, that they tell me what I need to hear, and to let them drop as they will. And now since I'm taking a more secular approach, I don't think the cards speak to me anymore, but I don't know what approach to take anymore. I tried to do a reading to answer the question "Who am I?" I need for an essay and I thought that Tarot might help me make the process of thinking easier, but instead I fear it made it more complicated. I haven't really related to the cards, and I thought that maybe I was doing it wrong. Should I shuffle until I'm satisfied, let the cards "come to me", pick whichever how I want or another approach? Thank you for your time once again! And thank you for your patience.

Also, do you think the Jungian Tarot is a good secular way to view all this? I'm almost tempted to buy some cards for this, but I don't know if it's worth it or if I should just read a few theories first.

I've seen posts saying that cards do not have meaning. And I kinda get that there's no higher power talking to you through cards, as I don't believe that either, but I don't know how the cards can have no meaning, as sometimes they are very fitting for the situation that I am in. I would like to chat more about this with somebody, if anyone is willing. I will also try to read more on Tarot, as I found some interesting books on this subreddit.

Second question: does it matter what kind of cards we use? I have three(four actually) decks that I like and use, but I'm most attached to my queer deck. I also find that it's not very spiritual or into "how things will be" although you certainly can interpret it that way too. It's more focused on self care, which I really like. One more deck is a Body one and the third is kinda community based and I've always felt it's kinda accurate to my readings.