u/pangel05

I've always loved obsession( which i believe is the true form of love) . But recently, after my first real even though quick relationship, I've realised I'm attracted to crazy and toxic behaviour.

When she yelled at me and blocked me over nothing, i kinda found it hot, when she texted me to watch a movie the next day , i felt euphoric.

Of course it didn't last , she got upset over my sister thinking i was talking to an ai account when i told her about me talking to her and she eventually blocked me after repeatedly cursing me and my sister and she hasn't reached out since.

Obviously i shouldn't tell her every thought in my mind and should have thought about how that would hurt her, but getting dumped, cursed and blocked over something like that (even after apologising and trying to fix the situation )hurt, but i still found it cute and attractive.

Pity it didn't work out and of course i still wish her well but it made me learn more about myself and that is that I'm attracted to toxic behaviour. I didn't expect that but oh well.

I'm very new to relationships but I'm intrigued by crazy behaviour apparently

Just wanted to get these thoughts out of my head feel free to reach out, i want to make new connections.

You said you loved me

You said you wouldn't leave

You said that you wouldn't give up on me

You pushed me away

You even made me block you when

You said i didn't deserve true love when

You knew that's the only thing I ever wanted

You said because i love my sister and my friends that

I didn't love you when even though i was always on call with you. I was writing poems for you, you were always on my mind, my every thought was being texted to you but it wasn't what you expected..

You wouldn't trust me, you wouldn't bother

You wouldn't bother to accept me,

You said i was a boy and you wanted a man but

You don't know that for you to get the man ,

You have to accept the boy inside him.

You said your feelings were as true as mine

You knew i was scared i would fuck it up

You even posted on this sub to make me jealous

You even showed me all the boys in your dms

You only showed me your face when you knew you didn't want me, when you knew it would hurt me.

You cursed me instead of accepting me

You hurt me instead of caressing me

You didn't want to give me love

You didn't want to be mine

You didn't want the boy inside .