u/pear-bog

I’ve been self harming on and off since I was 15 and I’m now in my early 20s. I have been clean for a year or so but then last night cut myself quite badly and I am probably going to do it again.

I was previously under the CMHT in one city and had therapy and a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with EUPD and autism, but when I moved to a new city last year the new CMHT wouldn’t take me because I was relatively stable. My GP continued the medication I was on thankfully though.

I don’t know if it’s worth talking to the GP again because I feel like I’m sliding and I don’t want to get worse, but also I don’t know if they will be able to do anything or what I would be hoping to get out of it.

The GMC is doing a public consultation on how personal beliefs should be allowed to influence doctors. It would be worth responding because many people have been refused HRT by GPs despite it being recommended by GICs or private endocrinologists.

Edit: The guidance says that a doctor can make a conscientious objection to providing treatment if there are reasonable alternatives for the patient. I know many of us have been refused care and forced to change GP practices because no one would prescribe in one GP practice. I would recommend that people talk about this explicitly, and say that you don’t think it is reasonable for someone to have to switch GP practice if everyone at the practice is morally opposed to prescribing HRT.

https://www.gmc-uk.org/about/get-involved/consultations/personal-beliefs-and-medical-practice

I am starting a funded PhD in October, which I’m very excited for. However, I am aware that doing a PhD is difficult, and have seen people saying that it will exacerbate any existing mental illnesses.

I am diagnosed with autism and “Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder” (EUPD). I used to be a lot worse than I am now. I was under secondary services and the crisis team for two years and prescribed anti-psychotic medication. I was having episodes of very intense high and low mood accompanied by dissociation, self harm, and reckless behaviour. I have recently been discharged back to my GP because I’m a lot more stable than I used to be, and am just on fancy anti depressants.

I wanted to ask if anyone has any advice about navigating a PhD when you have a diagnosis of a complex mental illness. I definitely want to do the PhD, but I am worried about the pressure causing me to relapse again.

I am also unsure whether I should tell any of this to my supervisor. On the one hand, while I am stable now, if I get worse during the PhD (which I might as I’ve had stable periods before that have then ended), it would perhaps be good to have more official support and to give them warning. On the other hand, I think EUPD is one of the worse-named mental illnesses and I’m worried they will think I’m not cut out for the PhD or think of me negatively.