u/pennilesspeasantry

Hello everyone,

I just wanted to start this post by giving some context. Nobody in my family has ever been diagnosed with Dementia, nor Alzheimer’s- this is the first time I’ve ever learned of the impacts this condition has.

My nana is 71, she was diagnosed with asthma when she was younger and continued smoking throughout her life. A decade ago, she was diagnosed with COPD and was told that she would only get more unwell- but she didn’t try to quit smoking. A year ago, in December 2025- she was diagnosed with a soft tissue cancer within her breast after a medical emergency which left her in the hospital for about a month. She had the majority of it cut out of her.. but the scarring never healed properly. After this, she then fell extremely unwell with pneumonia.

Now, as of May 2026- my nana has been told that the medication she was given for her pneumonia a year ago was affecting her immune system to the point where her potassium and sodium levels were constantly increasing and decreasing. She could not understand what the doctors were telling her as the moment she returned from hospital in early 2026, she just seemed to get more and more confused as the days went by.

Some days she would seem herself, she’d know exactly who she is herself and she’d even know people’s names- other days she would sit and cry because she’s confused. Her doctors kept telling her that she needed to get up and out of bed after returning from the hospital earlier this year, but I feel like her situation has not helped with her depression, and that’s why she didn’t try. My mother (her daughter) would get extremely angry and frustrated with her for not trying to get better- my mother just doesn’t understand depression, nor how it affects someone.. no matter how much we try to explain it to her.

Last night I woke up at 2am to a text from my mother- for extra context, I live many hours away, there isn’t much I can do apart from be there through text. My nana was helped to bed, my grandad came back to the room 15 minutes later to sleep himself and noticed she was foaming at the mouth and shaking uncontrollably- seizing, having a fit. Paramedics were called immediately.

As of 7am this morning, she is awake and stable. My mother is at the hospital with her and my nana keeps blurting out complete nonsense. She has told my mother that she is in hospital because she has started menstruating. She finished menopause 18 years ago. My mother had to remind her that she is in-fact 71, which made my nana extremely upset. She cried hard when she realised she wasn’t 16, she was 71.

I really do not know why I’m explaining all of this, and I don’t really know what I necessarily “want” from this post. I think comfort would be nice, but I’m not too sure anything can comfort me anymore. It’s just so hard to come to terms with it all. It has only been a year yet she has declined at such a rapid pace, I don’t even know if I’ll get to see her again before she’s gone.