u/petercururu

(haven't finished handmaids tale yet, still at s4, but I couldn't keep myself from watching the testaments and now I'm even more confused. I don't mind spoilers!)

she was not a violent person before Gilead took over, she seemed to be stern but not evil. she pretty much was the pioneer of the role of aunt but that was only due to the fact that this was the way she found to escape an execution, I doubt she even had a say about having to harm others to punish them despite growing desensitized by it.

but that leaves me wondering: why in every opportunity she gets of retiring she throws it out the window and is scared of being pulled away from her post? I'm assuming by now, after everything she did for the cause, the execution is no longer a concern, so what is causing this behavior? is it the lack of certainty of what she'd become next? or because that gives her some weird sense of purpose? she grown to be a maniac? I just don't think it makes sense for her to start to fr belive in the Gilead system just because she got desensitized, I thought she was just doing what she could to survive and became good at it yet this reluctance of hers leaves me puzzled.

this may sound a little dumb and I don't mind being corrected, i am a beginner and ever only worked with very simple stuff that I'm not even sure where correctly applied. I have a few intrusive thoughts and I struggle to be nice with my siblings especially after some life events between us, I did get much better since teenage years until now but I am not satisfied and still feel like I'm just not so good. i really want to become a better and more patient person to everything and everyone including myself. is there a spell like this anywhere or sources that talk about this? did anyone do something similar and had any success?

TW

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okay so ik this question is probably dumb yet please have some patience with me. mostly want to know this before the show offers answers bcs spoilers usually make me more interested.

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they just did the worse with June again and it got me wondering: is it only illegal to rape a pregnant handmaid when the baby dies because of the abuse? I remember in the first season that the handmaids where put to kill a guy that raped a pregnant colleague but said colleague lost her baby subsequently to the violation. I wonder if the baby being alive or not afterwards to the abuse is a main point for the persecutor to get properly punished. I really want to see Fred die soon and I hope this is the reason he does so😬

just a complaint because watching people touch her stomach so freely makes me cringe so hard every single time, the effect stays the same even after it happened so godamn much. God leave this woman alone I can't take it 😭😭😭

edit: ya'll I know she is considered property and this is not a big concern for her I am just sharing the sentiment of watching it happen as I wasn't expecting something this small to bother me as much 😵‍💫

I'm a first time watcher and I'm mid S2E2 and shes already trying to leave her hiding spot, I normally really hate characters that refuse to help themselves and others and actively self sabotage like this (in this case trying to leave the hiding spot) bcs it feels super unnatural and forced like the writers couldn't properly think of anything so they just make the character act extremely stupid for the plotline's sake. please tell me if this is a constant in the show from now on or not, I need to mentally prepare myself and dw I don't mind getting spoilers 😭

if she does repeat this behavior I'd love to hear why y'all think so, rationalizing characters dumb decisions tend to help me keep watching the show instead of giving it up, but I have to admit that rn I really can't think of anything as being caught could mean constant suffering until birth (like the chained girl) and then death penalty which would also mean shed be unable to do anything for her child. plus it would put Nick in danger of execution if they find his involvement.

I hope I'm not being rude or dumb myself about the show, i just can barely watch this scene without pausing as she's fighting with Nick about wanting out like she isn't running from an authoritive system that literary hangs people in public spaces.

to indo agora p faculdade enquanto faço esse post, tive que mudar o turno devido ao trabalho porém tenho medo devido a todos os relatos de assaltos e perseguição, alguém sabe se lá é perigoso assim mesmo? alguma dica p quem tá começando a estudar a noite agora? (tenho que pegar ônibus, então acho que isso piora a situação)

this is a very dumb confession but I watched some bits of this movie and deep dived on it quite a few weeks ago and since I have been getting nightmares and flashbacks about it.

I am often moved by content that showcases human suffering and wars and I am particularly sensitive to people who die by complications that deteriorate their minds and bodies (like radiation, rabies and dementia) and this movie has messed me up bad.

I have flashbacks in completely random moments that drive me into prolonged loops of stress and anxiety and during these flashbacks I can't stop thinking of the scenes and details, especially the scene where the woman says "look, my hair is falling out", this and the husband becoming increasingly confused, forgetting theres no water nor milk available. it genuinely haunts me.

I often get extremely moved with sensitive media for long periods of time but this one takes the cake, I get headaches and nausea thinking about it and my brain often correlates it with irl people who are suffering with wars rn or the ones who have suffered from it, in specific the ones who had to deal with biological weapons or radiation, and it makes me even worse. the flashbacks comes multiple times a day and the nightmares aren't as frequent but I did wake up crying at least twice. it's very stupid I just hate the sensation and hope it passes soon.