Advice on repairing with my BPD bestie
I (30F) was best friends with another girl (28F) for many years. I met her when I was really struggling in life and I am much happier now. I owe where I am today to her and I felt we had such a genuine true connection. I’m pretty sure I was her FP. 3 years into our friendship we started dating, which seemed like a dream come true. 28F asked me to date and I thought this was going to be a really strong relationship. However, 28F has untreated BPD and after a few months I believe she self sabotaged and cheated on me. I’m not totally sure but pretty sure. Out of no where she broke up with me with no explanation, she didn’t get her stuff from my house for like two months, and she’s told me she missed me and loves me but we can’t connect. I have never experienced such intense avoidance in my life and I have received many mixed signals from her. I have been in therapy and trying to handle this as I responsibly as I can bc I miss her terribly, not even as a romantic partner but just as one of my closest friends and someone I want to offer the same love and support she has offered me in the past. She doesn’t want to treat her BPD or go to therapy. She doesn’t want to talk to me. I want to respect her desire for distance rather than overwhelm her, however, I did have to unadd her on social media, which I think may have been triggering. I didn’t do it because I hate her, it’s just really painful for me to see and makes it harder for me not to bother her. I don’t know y’all, from your perspective, what would you want from me if you were her? We are 4 months post stressful breakup. Thank you for any perspective you can offer.