u/philosopheraps

هل القطط ممكن تعمل كدا

هل اقدر استخدم القطة كصياد حشرات

اعمل اي حاجة الا اني اموتهم بنفسي مبعرفش اموتهم

The auditory stimulation. Seems more like auditory harassment. It's genuinely unbearable and I think I am going to go crazy over this

The world and especially this country is so fucking noisy for absolutely no good reason. The6 don't need to be doing all these sound. There's absolutely no purpose nor benefit for them. These people are just fucking insensitive

I think, if I'm not mistaken, the amount of noise they're doing for no good reason (all the time 24/7 btw) would be illegal in other countries. I really think it should be treated by the law here too.

The type of noise I'm talking about: OBNOXIOUS frequency of using car horns. OBNOXIOUS AND ABSOLUTELY UNBEARABLE. they would use horns like 10 times in 5 seconds. Or they'd press on the horn one time but for an obnoxious length. Like press on it for 7 seconds at a time. And now with how bad this sounds, imagine a whole street filled with vehicles doing that. Including buses and motorcycles. And some cars and vehicles seem to buy horns that are EXTREMELY LOUD that it's inhumane.. and some even have horn that have the sound of police and ambulance sirens. So even louder and more consistent

It fucking kills me to even walk. It's genuinely so excruciating.

These are the things I think should be illegal.

Also, other than that horrendous behaviour above, I also feel very hurt by other noises. That are not universally seen as obnoxious. Such as metro (subway) sounds that are very loud. Or any other noises I don't have a certain criteria for this

Now about how I (and the part of me) actually feels: I feel genuinely like I wanna commit violence and crimes in the street because of this. (DISCLAIMERR before Reddit police comes after me: no I won't actually do crimes but I get urges and violent impulses and imagining it)

I do not imagine myself hurting people tho. The urges I get are ones where I absolutely destroy their vehicle and especially the horn if they use it for no good reason again.

I feel so genuinely sad and in pain that the world doesn't care about how much I'm hurt by this and will continue doing it as if I should be okay with these sounds that are actually physically painful to me.

I am so pained and hurt by the fact that I should be in physical pain whenever I go outside. Even though I want to go outside and I feel good when I spend time outside in nice environments I don't like staying indoors all the time

I hate that even in the less obnoxious environments, everything is so loud and painful to me and I'm so destined to be in pain. Me specifically when I'm outside

Why do I live like this? Why should I live like this?

The pain I'm in is so profound and this post isn't capturing it. I don't wanna be isolated from the world b3cause people are selfish and everything is loud for no reason

Btw, I walk outside with my hands in my ears to try to block the sounds. I used to use ear plugs.. yet the sounds are never really fully blocked. I can still hear the sounds even if they're less loud. Because the problem isn't only loudness but also how there's a million sounds happening at the same time. For no good reason. Or even with a good reason. I still hate that it happens. It's affecting me too greatly

Also even if I cover my ears, it's exhausting to and I can't do it all the time or for long. If I wear ear plugs, even if they're the finest ever, they still feel like there's something in my ear... and i just also like to have my ears open and listen to the sounds around me. It feels good to be able to do so. Yet I can't. So this brings me back to the point of "I should be inherently uncomfortable and not able to experience joy at all when I'm outside (in most places or streets)"

This is really so bad for me that it reaches the point that makes this part of me dissociate

هعمل ايه في الهدوم الي ففي الغسالة دلوقتي

الغسالة بطلت تشتغل في نص الغسيل

Because then it wouldn't be a natural real relationship

And I'm unable to be in close relationships. What do I even do

I wouldn't mind being in a close very affectionate friendship that includes seeing and embracing me at my best and worst.. and includes physical touch and affection. But people seem to talk like these don't exist other than in a romantic relationship. Even though I disagree. But anyway I just want that

These people I think would be ones that have insecure attachment. How to have boundaries with how much you're willing to engage with (maybe if you feel they're being too close with you at a stage that feels early to you) without completely cutting them off? Nd also saying it in a way that sounds firm/confident yet kind?

This is an example of things you'd go through

Would definitely like to post this on another sub so if you know one tell me. (Attachment theory hasn't accepted me till now if you know anything about that pls let me know)

كشف النظر مش معايا ولا معايا عدسة لأن النضارة ضاعت. بس انا اعمى ومش بشوف. ممكن اعمل نضارة برقم من عندي (العدسات)؟ حتى لو هغيررها لاحقا بس انا دلوقتي مش بشوف

هل هيعملوهالي

معنديش لا فلوس ولا وقت اعمل كشف نظر تاني دلوقتي حاليا

والامتحانات داخلة

تعديل : بردو هو فيه اماكن بتعمل وبتركب عدسات بسعر رخيص

ولا النت مش شغال عندي بس؟ اصل لازم اعرف عشان النت دا مخليني مقدرش اشتغل عشان شغلي على النت كولد كولينج

هو دا حاصل عند كله ولا لا بس وينصح ازاي؟ النت حرفيا خرا واسوأ من الخرا. لدرجة أن صفحة جوجل العادية مش بتحمل

ولا النت مش شغال عندي بس؟ اصل لازم اعرف عشان النت دا مخليني مقدرش اشتغل عشان شغلي على النت كولد كولينج

هو دا حاصل عند كله ولا لا بس وينصح ازاي؟ النت حرفيا خرا واسوأ من الخرا. لدرجة أن صفحة جوجل العادية مش بتحمل

هو النت حرفيا مش شغال عند كله ولا عندي انا بس؟

هو النت حرفيا مش شغال عند كله ولا عندي انا بس؟

انا يعني ليه حصل معايا حوالي تلت مرات ا. اشوف صرصار او حرة دخلت اوضتي وبما اني بترعب من الحشرات مش بمشي وراها واموتها لا انا بجري واطلع من الاوضة واستناها هي تطلع. ففي التلات مرات دول تكون حشرة في اوضتي وكلهم كانوا متجهين لنفس الكورنر اللي في الاوضة في كل التلات مرات. بس بعد ما يروحوا الكورنر دا.. مبشوفهمش تاني. بيتبخروا. بيختفوا. انا اطلع برا ومشوفهاش بتطلع من الاوضة.. والكورنر دا ديد اند خالص ومجرد حيطة في حيطة ومفيش شباك في اوضتي أساسا حتى أمال هم بيروحوا فين؟

ولاد الوسخة دول مخوفني