AITK for breaking up with my bf.
I (19F) broke up with my bf (21M) of almost 3 years right before starting a LDR (moving away for uni) with him because it concerned me that he is not as serious about his career as much I am.
Context: He and I were very sure about LDR and the future; we communicated about everything, and of course, it is still valid to have your fear as LDR is very difficult. He had his fears from his past relationships that distance is just not gonna work, but we assured each other many times and had gained a lot of trust for each other. Now my fear steps in, I knew for 2 years that he is not studying any UG courses, and yes, it took time to process that, as I feel in this economy basic education is necessary. But I let it go because he says he wants to have a offline business, which his family supports, so who was I to question anything? And then, a few months ago, I found out that he hasn't even completed his 12th (last year of high school), so yeahh it bothered me, and I kept looking for an explanation as "whyy??" (he did study his 12th but didn't actually complete it).
I am a person who not only dreams but also wants that life. I am an only child. I need to afford my parents, my life, a master's, dogs (that I wish to live with someday), travel, all this, and I just couldn't imagine my life actually with him now as I really think about it. What if the business doesn't turn out the way it's supposed to? There should be a second option, right? I did talk to him about trying to complete his 12th online and just take the exam, but he just doesn't tend to take me seriously and just gets upset.
After all this, I decided to break up. I went to his place to talk to him and end it. We talked, and I don't blame him for reacting the way he did; I mean, anyone would be shocked. At the end of the conversation, he asked to be clear if I still wanted to continue with this relationship. I just couldn't speak, but he needed a yes or no answer.
I said no.
Done.
Then he said, "I'll call my mum here, u owe her an explanation too" (I was close with his family). She came and had no idea why he and I were both crying. When he finally told her, she started crying too in shock. Asking me, "How could you do that to him?" "How could you just say no?" again and again and again. They didn't really understand my reason. Just saw the hatred in every single one of his family's eyes.
His family thinks I did very wrong (don't blame them)
My family thinks I did the right thing. Of course, it was hard, but it had to be done.
Now I don't know if I did the right thing or not. I know there is no going back, but I need to learn from this.
Was I wrong?
UPDATE: Just came to know about what his mother did when i came home after the breakup!!
His mother called my mum asking “Is there something wrong going on in your house?, \*my name\* came home angry today wanting to break up as she thinks she can’t do LDR”. My mum replied “I don’t know if anything is going on, she is just in her room” to that his mother said “Can u please figure out what happened to her and tell me about it”.
My mum had no idea about the breakup yet and she had to hear it from his mother! Omg! Then my mum just came to my room, saw the stuffs I gave him, back on my bed. She didn’t ask anything and just asked me to eat dinner and waited patiently for when I was ready to tell her about the break up.