u/plaintortilla11

How to cope with weight gain in a fatphobic society?

hi! I've been attempting recovery after my recent relapse and I found that I'm having trouble with fully committing to it because im afraid of weight gain (duh, I know thats very common lol). however, im not afraid of it in a sense that I'd find my body less attractive - i don't really care that much, tbh. if I was stranded on an uninhabited island, i'd easily allow myself to gain weight. im more so afraid of societal consequences of weight gain.

i may have worked hard to unpack my own fatphobia but unfortunately, the rest of society had not. im scared of facing discrimination and judgement, especially financial and job discrimination. fat women tend to earn less than thin women according to some studies i found 🫠 >!(meanwhile, heavier men actually tend to earn slightly more! i hate this world we live in yall)!< idk if this is just my ED catastrophizing by equating recovery weight gain to me becoming broke and homeless immediately, i know thats not how this works. im just scared of letting go of the current privilege I hold, as sad as that sounds.

it is kind of ridiculous because I dont even get to use my "privilege" rn, my brain is too obsessed with food and too exhausted to hold a job. I just keep holding on to that fantasy that I could just maintain this weight I achieved in my current relapse by just eating my "maintenance" cals as it is a "healthy" BMI and all the fatigue and other physical symptoms will just go away. ik thats not true though, the moment I actually let myself eat I experience energy and clearness of mind I have never experienced during my relapse 😭 I wish I could have my cake and eat it too.

if you had similar struggles in recovery, what helped you overcome it and commit? any resources you could recommend to deal with this? this is pretty much the only thing holding me back from going all-in rn..

reddit.com
u/plaintortilla11 — 24 hours ago

im afraid of growing up

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hi, for context im 18f and have been slowly relapsing over the past few months after my attempt at all-in recovery. it started as just a health and fitness journey and now im all the way back where i started (some fucked up shit happened in my life and thats how I cope) :/

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i think whats stalling me from recovery rn is that im genuinely afraid of growing up. im afraid of responsibility, of the adult world. im terrified of actually having a life. i heard ppl in recovery saying that they gained their life back and achieved their dreams thanks to recov and im so happy for them but I had the complete opposite experience. yes I was "recovered" and food didn't take up much of my mind anymore but then all of my other mental problems surfaced. im genuinely afraid of everything in life. im afraid of socializing, of trying, of applying to jobs, of thinking about my future. i just want to stay in my room all day, safe and small (both mentally and physically ig).

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because when im relapsing i dont have to think about my future anymore, I can just think about food and calories all day and feel "safe". i know thats not a life but I just dont see the alternative. its either gain weight and recover and be miserable or lose weight and be miserable. my ed makes me feel like im accomplishing \*something\* while im a complete loser in all of my other areas of life.

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has anybody dealt with this too? how did you recover? i am seeing a therapist rn but its a process and I dont know how long its gonna take before I can untangle all the mess in my head. my current therapist said that when she looks at me she sees "a young woman thats afraid of the world" and thats genuinely how it is. im just so afraid of doing literally anything 🫠 its like im allergic to putting in effort into my life. >!i feel like because im so lazy it's better if my ed just takes me at this point, its not like my life would amount to anything without the ed and the world is getting worse every year anyway !<

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reddit.com
u/plaintortilla11 — 14 days ago

im afraid of growing up

hi, for context im 18f and have been slowly relapsing over the past few months after my attempt at all-in recovery. it started as just a health and fitness journey and now im all the way back where i started (some fucked up shit happened in my life and thats how I cope) :/

&#x200B;

i think whats stalling me from recovery rn is that im genuinely afraid of growing up. im afraid of responsibility, of the adult world. im terrified of actually having a life. i heard ppl in recovery saying that they gained their life back and achieved their dreams thanks to recov and im so happy for them but I had the complete opposite experience. yes I was "recovered" and food didn't take up much of my mind anymore but then all of my other mental problems surfaced. im genuinely afraid of everything in life. im afraid of socializing, of trying, of applying to jobs, of thinking about my future. i just want to stay in my room all day, safe and small (both mentally and physically ig).

&#x200B;

because when im relapsing i dont have to think about my future anymore, I can just think about food and calories all day and feel "safe". i know thats not a life but I just dont see the alternative. its either gain weight and recover and be miserable or lose weight and be miserable. my ed makes me feel like im accomplishing *something* while im a complete loser in all of my other areas of life.

&#x200B;

has anybody dealt with this too? how did you recover? i am seeing a therapist rn but its a process and I dont know how long its gonna take before I can untangle all the mess in my head. my current therapist said that when she looks at me she sees "a young woman thats afraid of the world" and thats genuinely how it is. im just so afraid of doing literally anything 🫠 its like im allergic to putting in effort into my life. >!i feel like because im so lazy it's better if my ed just takes me at this point, its not like my life would amount to anything without the ed and the world is getting worse every year anyway !<

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reddit.com
u/plaintortilla11 — 14 days ago