u/planetmarsupial

(ignore typo in title)

You can tell a lot about a person by how they act at the poker table. You’re around them all the time if you’re both regulars, so you have the opportunity to get a pretty good sample size.

You get to see how they behave in stressful situations, how they treat others when they’re losing, whether they touch buffalo wings and then touch their cards, etc.

I can’t even think of a better place to meet someone.

I’m a pretty okay poker player, meaning that I am often the strongest player at a live table.

This ego boost had me thinking I was the strongest athlete in my area. I was bragging about how I could dunk a basketball to everyone within earshot.

Well, it turns out I can’t dunk. Not even close. I’m able to almost touch the rim but that’s about it.

Poker made me think I was a better sportsperson than I really am. Let this be a warning to other athletes like me.

I have a job that involves talking to a lot of old men. Without ever having played poker, I never would’ve had extensive previous experience talking to old men.

Other than taking my car to the mechanic or going to the doctor, how often would I have socialized with old men without poker?

It’s not like you see an old guy just anywhere, and when you do, it’s not like you always have a reason to talk to them.

This thought came to me when the Law & Order theme song started playing in my YouTube mix at the table.

I read he was from Wisconsin, so I thought that made sense at the time.

Think WNBA uniforms, but worn by poker dealers.

Imagine if your chair had an insurance company in bold letters on the back.

What if the TV screens for waitlists had advertisements playing every 30 seconds?

What if all of the cards were sponsored by different companies and said something like “sponsored by ______” in small font under the letter/number and suit?

This feels like an untapped market to me.

Think about it. People ask tall people if they play basketball because they’re closer to the basket, which is usually pretty high up. In addition, basketball is played standing up.

Poker is played lower to the ground using a poker table that is often not very tall. It is also often played sitting down, which is rare for sports.

Why do you think short people aren’t asked more about playing poker?

And if not, do you know of anywhere it runs occasionally?

I’ve realized part of why I enjoy poker is the occasional toxicity. The haters and the doubters are my biggest motivators for success.

What if we have been too nice to women, which in turn has not motivated enough of them to join our sport?

Tell me what you think of this idea!

When I say non smoker I mean I literally don’t know how to smoke. Nobody I’ve asked will let me try one of their cigarettes and I don’t want to pay for one with my own money to practice.

Right now, I’m thinking about my brain as a finite resource that only has so much quality thinking power available within a given day.

Let’s say there is a hypothetical scenario in which I am an account manager who makes a base salary + commission.

As long as I fulfill my duties to a satisfactory degree, I’ll probably have my base salary as a guaranteed source of income, and the amount I make on commission is something I have some amount of control over.

In order to determine the amount of effort I put towards earning it, I would weigh this commission against my expected earnings from playing poker with a similar amount of mental exertion.

Am I thinking about this correctly? Or is there something I’m missing?

I was feeling bored, so I got my first ever corporate job.

When I get home from work, all I want to do is stare at the wall for a couple of hours and then fall asleep on my sofa.

I feel like I spend a lot of time thinking at work, so going to the poker table to use my brain more afterwards is sort of overwhelming, if that makes any sense.

I thought I’d feel more poker-y on the weekend or something because I am me, but so far I just don’t have the energy. I’m not even working long hours, so I have no idea what’s wrong with me.

When I’m swiping on dating apps and I see a man holding a fish it makes me want to go on a date with him because I know that he also likes fish.

Whenever I’m at a restaurant and I see fish on the menu, I will be ordering the fish.

Whenever I’m shopping for clothes and see something with a fish on it, I want to buy it.

My biggest insecurity has always been my neck. There are a lot of things I don’t like about it. I don’t like the mole it has on the left side. I don’t like the way it looks when I wear a necklace. I don’t like how it feels when I wear a turtleneck sweater. I don’t even like the color.

I’ve considered a lot of options for what to do about my neck, but have come up completely empty handed for a solution to my problem. So, I’ve decided to simply accept that I do not like my neck, and participate in hobbies that accommodate my lifelong insecurity.

Would poker be something I should consider? I’ve heard it might fit what I’m looking for.

It might seem like a good idea. It might even seem like a great idea. But trust me, it’s probably not a good or great idea in reality, even if the concept sounds like one of the greatest ideas ever conceived by the human brain.

I made such a mess that if I lived in ancient times I would likely have been exiled from my tribe and forced to survive the elements on own. This would have proved difficult, and I’d have suffered a slow and painful death solely because of my own stupidity and lack of foresight.

I could, of course, just be an exceptionally messy watercolor painter and someone else may be able to paint at the table just fine, but I am simply not that person.

Literally felt like I was sitting in some kind of cuck chair

I’ve purchased a mini watercolor palette and 5”x7” watercolor paper but now I’m having second thoughts.

Last night, I was playing with a guy I’ve got a lot of history with, and we had the following conversation:

Whale: You’re following me

Me: No I’m not

Whale: You follow me wherever I go every time I’ve played with you

Me: Maybe I just like you a lot

Whale: K

I was playing a pot limit game and I knew the amount of a pot sized bet, but I said I didn’t know. My opponent then said that I did know and that I was just saying I didn’t know.

He was right. He somehow knew that I knew.

I work hard to farm as much aura as I can when I’m playing poker. I generally do this by taunting other players whenever I win their big chip(s) and bragging about how many times I’ve read War & Peace on my Kindle at the table (twice).

Anyway, the moment I leave the poker room, this aura is occasionally completely destroyed. Why? Because sometimes there’s an establishment in the vicinity of the exit that is blasting loud music.

You might wonder how this destroys my aura. Well, it destroys my aura because it’s impossible for me to use my hands to cover my ears in a discreet manner that isn’t visible to those around me, and sometimes those around me are my opponents.

If my opponents know that noise is a weak spot in my otherwise impenetrable aura armor, they can potentially use sounds against me, and I don’t like this.