Despite these pictures suggesting otherwise there were tens of thousands of people out celebrating themselves.
It’s amazing to not feel alone or an outsider when walking in a place, but today I felt I belonged to an amazing community.
Thank you to everyone who was involved whether marching or cheering ❤️
For context, I'm 46 and 2 1/2 years on HRT. I'm out everywhere and live life as myself 24/7.
I live my day to day in Warsaw, Poland but have come back to the UK for 5 weeks for work. It's a summer school job with a competely new company and colleagues. It's exciting, but I was incredibly worried about working in a place I didn't know and especially coming back given the state of politics here. I really had no idea how I'd be received by anyone at all.
Now on the one hand, I have had absolutely no issues whatsoever. My colleagues all generally seem pleasant to friendly, and I've had some really nice conversations with people here and there.
But what I've not done is 'come out' to the wider group of people I work with. I KNOW that I don't necessarily pass, but I have no idea to what extent I do or don't. I don't really want to have that conversation unless it's completely on my own terms, and I just want to get on with things.
And so far, I've had two colleagues ask what my pronouns are (I don't know if they thought they were being inclusive, but I'm right here in a dress with long hair and makeup, and basically everyone else is using she / her and has been for a few days; sometimes it's fine to assume), and a couple of strangers clumsily misgender me.
While, yes, I really can't say that I'm unhappy it's those little jabs which frustrate. It reminds me that I'm different and that I'm not there and may never be. There's literally no one else here who understands or i can just vent to about this. I wish I could go a while without having to worry if my hair isn't thinning too much, or my face isn't too textured, or whatever. I don't want to have to keep looking and critiquing and working so hard to try to fit in only for all that to be undone by some waiter who just wasn't on it for a moment.
I know I should focus on the positives, but sometimes its those little moments that stick out.
It's been 2 years since I was last in the UK. A lot has changed since then - both for me and for the UK.
Although last time I came I was out and had been transitioning for 7 months, I decided that I'd 'play it safe' and boymode for the trip. This was out of safety, and to not freak out my parents too much. I consequently felt awful; as if I'd betrayed myself.
But this time that's not an option. If for no other reason I don't have any boymode outfits left. I can't say I wasn't a bit worried about coming back - I'd be wearing a dress to travel in (I didn't want to pack it as it would get creased), so this would be the first time travelling as such. This would mean navigating the airport and then public transport from Luton to South London for the first time as an openly trans woman.
And today I'd planned to go and visit the Anish Kapoor exhibition at the Hayward Gallery with my mother. Again; public transport, cafes, restaurants, which meant ... a lot of possible issues.
I'd been fairly worried about this whole thing and hadn't really slept the night before I left as I played out all the possible scenarios in my head. But I told myself, "you lived your whole life hiding out of fear. You promised you wouldn't go back; it's time to get out there, head held high and see what comes."
And what came?
I had a great time!
Ok, actually the journey was a nightmare of delays and queues and waiting and more delays and eventually, almost 12 hours after leaving my flat in Poland, arriving at my mum's. But I survived.
Today (after 8 hours of much-needed sleep), I thoroughly enjoyed the art and walking around the South Bank (it's one of my favourite areas of London to walk around). I had some fun chats with other women here and there. Caught up with my mum with work gossip.
One additional minor 'hurdle' was I much prefer to wear my hair down, but in 30+ degree heat plus 80% humidity I had to put it up. I think it looked fine. Sometimes it's the big things, sometimes the small. Today it was both!
I still have a summer school and seeing my dad in person for the first time in 2 years, so plenty to look forward to. But I know I'll enjoy those experiences too.
In a way this is a message to me from 4 or 5 years ago. The me who thought that if I were to come out and transition it would mean the end. In particular, the end of my relationship(s) and of my career.
Well, almost two and a half years on HRT, and out universally for over 18 months, how is it going?
My relationship with my partner of coming up to 9 years is stronger than ever. My kids are great. My parents are slowly learning and getting it. To all people I see everyday, I am ... well ... me.
I was just given a promotion in my company to be in the kind of senior role I would never have even dreamt of reaching. It's a very exciting position where I will have a ridiculous amount of impact and autonomy. And it's clear that the people around and above me really wanted me to get it. It means so much to have the faith of the people around me. But more than that, I have faith in myself to make a success of it.
There is this narrative which seems to say that being trans means to expect a life of struggle and rejection. And, yes, not everything has been easy and I've had to work VERY hard to get where I am. I have had to face intolerance, misunderstandings, and rejections.
But I suspect that a lot of where I am is due in some part to transitioning:
I have more cognitive energy in my relationships and professionally.
I am much more authentic and honest in everything I do, which has brought respect and understanding.
I am so much more resilient and positive, which has meant I can adapt to change better.
And I have so much more confidence in myself to succeed.
And there really isn't anything special about me at all. So if you are reading this and thinking this could never be you. Well, so did I.
Hi,
Summer is coming up and after 2 years on HRT I'm ready to take to the pool & beach, but I do not have adequate outfits to go swimming in.
Can anyone recommend some good sites / places I can check out.
For context, I'm rather tall at 6'1" and pre op but also fairly slim (I'm generally size 40-44 or M-L depending on the brand).
Thanks in advance!
For context; started HRT early Feb 24. I turned 46
I bought this bright red dress I think in 2023 or 2022. I'd never worn it outside until today - I'd always loved the colour, but thought it was too revealing or too eye-catching. But today's the hottest day of the year so far - I needed something airy and summery. It's hard to believe I'd ever be this free.
But here I am. I hope that this can give those who need it a bit of hope ❤️ ❤️
Something I've found difficult to get past.
I lived for 43 years as him with that mask and with that external projection of what living like that meant. Just as you can get used to anything, I got used to how I looked back then.
Even two years on HRT I find it difficult to look at myself sometimes; a hangover from those days. But ever more recently I'm getting used to something new.
I'm getting used to enjoying what I see in selfies and in the mirror - because not only do I look good. Better than that; I look like ME!