Im so done with this existence. Ive just turned 18 and had several counts of sexual, emotional and physical abuse. Several mental disorders that cause me to be a stupid. A lack of any emotions. Litterally a single "friend" who probably doesnt even like me. A crippling loneliness that wont go away no matter how much I tell myself its never gonna happen. A body that wont go down in size. No willpower to fix anything (normally or forever). Amd A stubbornness that causes me to ignore advise for awkward reason.

Im built so wrong, I just wanna sleep forever but even then my dreams arent safe. I had some completely vile dreams last night that wont get out of mt head.

How do I accept a pathetic failure who will die alone.

Edit: what part of evolution means that I fail to function if I dont manage my emotions. What part of evolution causes mental disorders that make me fail at living

This is a followup post to my "touch starved post"

Ive had multiple things I've need to do over the last days. Yet I cant bring myself to get up other than to do some mediocre gaming. And even then I have to force myself to feel anything. I feel like i have to force myself to laugh. I don't like it.

Im really starting to question the point to all this. I have a terrible memory so I dont remember a lot of things I need to remember. Ive lost the ability to experience joy, or at least know what it is.

These last few days I've felt a crippling pain in my chest and lack of energy to do anything

Im 18 and I already feel like a failure. I wont get any relationships (close or far). Im already out of shape and cant motivate myself to fix it. I indulge in ai chat bots even though I despise ai so so so much. I have years of trauma (sexual&emotional). Multiple mental conditions. Im lonely and I dont have the social skills to fix that. I have horrid thoughts from time to time. And worst of all, im a coward who doesn't have the balls to fix the problem (permanently or not).

Im built so incredibly wrong here

Edit: what part of evolution means that I fail to function if I dont manage my emotions. What part of evolution causes mental disorders that make me fail at living

aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I... really really have a desire to be pet. I just really want it >_< how would I ask one of my friends to pet me

I reposted this here because I genuinely have no idea what to do

I am lonely and don't know what to do.

Ive been having multiple breakdowns everyday now. I just realized one reason why.

I want physical intimacy. In the way that I want to be able to rest my head on someone's shoulder or lap. I want to be pet for some reason. I just want physical intimacy.

I want a moment where someone truely understands me.

Yet I also know that im not the most mentally healthy person. I breakdown a lot and have a lot of trauma that actively clouds my judgement. Ive never had a good history with relationships. And I only really have one friend that would not participate in physical intimacy.

I could try to talk to someone and try to become friends but i dont want to hurt anyone because of my poor mental health.

Im stuck in a cycle of constant misery over the fact that I want this, yet I know I never can in the state that I am in

I have to clarify that this is NOT sexual and that I just became a adult this year

Ive been having multiple breakdowns everyday now. I just realized one reason why.

Im so touch starved. In the way that I want to be able to rest my head on someone's shoulder or lap. I want to be pet for some reason. I just want physical intimacy.

Yet I also know that im not the most mentally healthy person. I breakdown a lot and have a lot of trauma that actively clouds my judgement. Ive never had a good history with relationships. And I only really have one friend that would not participate. I could try to talk to someone and try to become friends but i dont want to subject them to me.

Im stuck in a cycle of constant misery over the fact that I want this, yet I know I never can in the state that I am in. It hurts so so much and I want it to stop.

I have a Vt of 12 and and a R1 of 560 and a unknown R2

I am given nothing else and am required to find every value including current and Voltage drops

I am completely lost at what to do as I have no current values or resistance total to work with. And nothing online helps