u/potatopig108

Yesterday I posted this about my mother finding out I was going to a wedding and immediately trying to control what I wear even tho she isn’t even going, and I didn’t even want to tell her about it…

well today I offhandedly mentioned something about how I needed to get gas and was going to the store to look at clothes for the wedding which is in less than a month. She immediately got upset and was like “you already have something to wear?? I already got you something????” And I was like ?????

I had noticed she was looking at things on my behalf trying to insert herself BUT I didn’t think she would actually impose her opinion that much. She was like “I already got your outfit why do you need one???” Even though I did not even have a hand in picking it she was like “I already approved this one, it’s the best one I’ve seen, I like it so much, it’s perfect!!!”

I definitely did not ask her to do this and I tried to ignore it but she kept obsessively looking for clothes and shoes she thought would be good rather than something I would want. And now apparently she picked and BOUGHT her favorite and she just assumes I’m going to wear it because she already chose it in her mind. She even is mentally planning accessories and shoes and jewelry that she “wants” me to wear and is planning to personalize me like an avatar. I think she will most likely have a mental breakdown when she sees I’m not wearing makeup on the day of.

It really is ridiculous… if I wasn’t currently living/stuck at home, there is no way she would have even found out about this wedding in the first place…

So last month my roommate invited me to her friends wedding this month and since i am currently back at home i mentioned it to my parents. They were not invited but i only told them since they would likely watch me walk out the door in formal wear at some point and ask lol. I kinda subconsciously knew what would happen so i waited until the last minute, i only told them a few days before it would happen so they couldn’t try to get involved.

And just like i predicted my mother immediately pounced on the subject trying to demand what kind of clothes and jewelry i was going to wear. I said i wasnt paying attention to that and any old thing would be fine.

She actually lost it when i said i will not be wearing makeup (it’s not MY wedding is it??) and was actually aghast like “but you can’t just show up looking UGLY!!!?!!”

She spent the next DAY looking at formal dresses from online stores and sending me screenshots even tho i told her i have enough clothes and don’t need any more. She kept sending them which were all styles SHE liked. I said i didn’t like any of them and that i would rewear something i already had in my closet.

She got upset and said “you can’t do that!!! all those old dresses are so unstylish and out of fashion now!!!! They’re not trendy anymore and they’re plain!!!! I’m not simple like that! I’m high class, fancy and sophisticated!!!!!”

I didn’t even know how to react bc this was so ridiculous. I don’t even think she saw how crazy she sounded bc she kept going,

“This is a formal occasion, you can’t wear an out of style dress! I’m not ordinary, I’m very stylish i always keep up with trends!!!!!”

I told her why don’t YOU buy a dress for yourself then??? And she was like “It’s important to be fashionable!!!! you can’t show up looking plain and not beautiful, that is not ok!!! I am very high class and fashionable!!!!!”

Anyway at that point the exchange was exhausting so i just went back to my room and let her do what she wanted lol. If she wants to order dresses online that nobody wears then that is her right i guess 💀

Hello,

Je suis un étudiant étranger et je suis très inquiet parce que je viens d’être accepté pour commencer un stage en septembre à la rentrée. Pourtant mon visa étudiant va expirer très bientôt. C’était très difficile d’être pris et j’ai peur de perdre le poste avant même de pouvoir le commencer.

J’ai demandé la prolongation et envoyé tous les documents il y a ~2-3 mois, mais j’attends toujours la réponse de la préfecture, même le document de prolongation d’instruction va bientôt expirer… Donc je n’ai aucun document, juste une attestation de la part de la scolarité expliquant que je bénéficie d’un statut d’étudiant jusqu’à une telle date me permettant d’effectuer un stage étudiant, mais cela ne remplace pas un titre de séjour …

En plus, je n’ai toujours pas encore reçu la convention ou contrat officiel et je crains qu’ils vont retirer l’offre quand ils commenceront à faire mon dossier et verront que mon titre expirera avant la fin prévue du stage.

Est ce qu’ils risquent de me refuser si je n’arrive pas à obtenir le nouveau titre de séjour avant le début du contrat ? Si oui, que puis-je faire pour garder le stage dans cette situation ?

Bonjour,

Je suis très inquiet parce que je viens d’être accepté pour commencer un stage en septembre à la rentrée. Pourtant mon visa étudiant va expirer très bientôt. C’était très difficile d’être pris et j’ai peur de perdre le poste avant même de pouvoir le commencer.

J’ai demandé la prolongation et envoyé tous les documents il y a ~2-3 mois, mais j’attends toujours la réponse de la préfecture, même le document de prolongation d’instruction va bientôt expirer… Donc je n’ai aucun document, juste une attestation de la part de la scolarité expliquant que je bénéficie d’un statut d’étudiant jusqu’à une telle date me permettant d’effectuer un stage étudiant, MAIS cela ne remplace pas un titre de séjour …

En plus, je n’ai toujours pas encore reçu la convention ou contrat officiel et je crains qu’ils vont retirer l’offre quand ils commenceront à faire mon dossier et verront que mon titre expirera avant la fin prévue du stage.

Est ce qu’ils risquent de me refuser si je n’arrive pas à obtenir la prolongation du titre avant le signature du contrat ?

Si oui, que puis-je faire dans l’attente de la décision de la préfecture ?

Est ce que vous savez si j’ai un recours au cas où mon stage est refusé à cause de ce retard ?

Im not sure if it exists on a scale or is more just different contexts? But I always imagined content as being the most subdued of the three, heureux being moderately or very joyful and ravi being overjoyed lol.

If there is a specific situation would you use these words differently based on HOW happy you feel or is it more about the kind of happiness?

For example ive heard ravi mainly either from people who were surprised about something or even in professional setting. Heureux seems like they are really happy in general and content just seems like a milder version of heureux to me or maybe more their mood?

As a native speaker how much happiness do you think is implied in « content » versus « heureux » or « joyeux » versus « ravi » ? Is the main difference the level of intensity or more the situation or the kind of joy you feel ? Are there situations where they are fully interchangeable?

I’ve been trying coffee beans from local coffee shops and grinding them at home for lattes and cappuccinos but haven’t found one I really like yet. I’ve gotten bags of beans from blue bottle, spectra, chromatic and the saint frank brand but I wasn’t really a fan of them because they were too “light” and didn’t have a ton of flavor even though I always try to get the darkest roasts they have. Im not sure if im just making it wrong or if im not getting the right kind. When I go to a coffee shop that has good drinks I tend to ask which beans they use and which are the “darkest” or most strong but haven’t found one I like yet. I usually grind them in small batches and use a pourover drip. Trying to find a new brand but not sure where to look. Does anyone have a suggestion for where to get really good coffee beans?

My mother always dumps her woes about her failed marriage onto anyone nearby regardless of their relationship. Each time I go home for a bit, a few times a year at most, she doesn’t even bother with fake niceties or even pretend to take an interest in my life she just vents and dumps her sorrows as if im a recycling bin. She does the same thing to her relatives and people at the place she sometimes volunteers at and wonders why she doesn’t have any friends. Sbe will cry and sob and howl and rant and reenact fights with father in front of people. She does it even if they didnt agree to listen even though she has already been to therapy before, she still does it in real life.

She was driving my cousins who came to visit and they were talking about the mall and suddenly it just flooded out and she started ranting and raging about how horrible my father is. He does seem like a terrible spouse but im LC with both of them so I don’t really get involved at all. My cousins were very surprised bc they aren’t close to her and suddenly this rant came out of nowhere. She almost said it in a way like “yeah I have to tell you this, you may think im happy but im not i don’t have a good marriage” but they weren’t wondering that at all. She started projecting too saying the cousins had it so good bc their husbands were good to them and nicer than hers but they didn’t ask to be compared like that. I don’t know why they don’t get divorced at this point but I think it has to do with $$ and old age.

It made me really sad to witness this and I also hate being the target of it. I can’t even speak to her for one sentence without it immediately turning into a therapy session. I feel bad and also feel like im watching a car wreck but there’s nothing I can do. Does anyone else here have a parent/parents who behave like this?

Hey guys,
I am in SJ for another two months, I tried a few of the common recs here for breakfast burritos over the past couple weeks (greenlees, rosalenas, lucys) I thought they were all fine but nothing spectacular. Does anyone have any recommendations for breakfast burritos (or even regular ones tbh) in the area?? (Preferably ones that would have homemade tortillas, and good ratio of ingredients, like not too heavy on the eggs or rice) thanks 🙏🏻