u/primaveraplum

What gets me is that YOU initiated the friendship. I didn’t ask you to add my birthday to your calendar, to text me most of the day every day, to invite me to your private Spotify playlists, to tell me about your personal life, to tell me you want to help me in grad school, to drunk text me thanking me for being such a good friend. You reached out to me in the first place. You could’ve just left me the hell alone. YOU did all those things. My bad for thinking we were friends because you TOLD me we were.

So when you disappear without a trace, of course I’m going to try to reach out to you. To see what’s going on, to apologize for whatever I did wrong. I panicked after realizing you probably weren’t going to respond. I sent too many messages. I embarrassed myself, I made myself look desperate. And yes, my last message to you, after over a month of silence, was harsh and mean, but it’s because I realized that a “friend” who can’t even manage bare minimum communication is not a friend who deserves any place in my life at all. I was going through one of the worst periods in my life, and you dropped me without a word.

You communicated nothing. You blocked me after I told you how hurtful your silence was. You made me feel crazy. Did I imagine the whole thing? Did you ever actually care? You made me feel crazy. I feel crazy.

I’ll never know what happened or how you feel about me now.

I don’t know if you’re intentionally cruel or just so emotionally immature that you can’t manage even a single difficult conversation. Either way, this has crushed any respect or positive opinion I had of you.

You’re a coward. You’re spineless. You have no idea how much what you did hurt me. How much it still hurts me, even now. You’re immature. You told me once that you struggled with communication and emotional expression and that many of your previous relationships failed because of it, and I regret not taking that as a warning and leaving. When people tell you who they are, believe them.

What gets me is that YOU initiated the friendship. I didn’t ask you to add my birthday to your calendar, to text me every day, to invite me to your private Spotify playlists, to tell me about your personal life, to tell me you want to help me in grad school, to drunk text me thanking me for being such a good friend. You reached out to me in the first place. You could’ve just left me the hell alone. YOU did all those things. My bad for thinking we were friends because you TOLD me we were.

So when you disappear without a trace, of course I’m going to try to reach out to you. To see what’s going on, to apologize for whatever I did wrong. I panicked after realizing you probably weren’t going to respond. I sent too many messages. I embarrassed myself, I made myself look desperate. And yes, my last message to you, after over a month of silence, was harsh and mean, but it’s because I realized that a “friend” who can’t even manage bare minimum communication is not a friend who deserves any place in my life at all. I was going through one of the worst periods in my life, and you dropped me without a word.

You communicated nothing. You blocked me after I told you how hurtful your silence was. You made me feel crazy. Did I imagine the whole thing? Did you ever actually care? You made me feel crazy. I feel crazy.

I’ll never know what happened or how you feel about me now.

I don’t know if you’re intentionally cruel or just so emotionally immature that you can’t manage even a single difficult conversation. Either way, this has crushed any respect or positive opinion I had of you.

You’re a coward. You’re spineless. You have no idea how much what you did hurt me. How much it still hurts me, even now. You’re immature. You told me once that you struggled with communication and emotional expression and that many of your previous relationships failed because of it, and I regret not taking that as a warning and leaving. When people tell you who they are, believe them.

I thought he was a friend. I tried so hard to get a response. I told him I miss him. I said it’s okay if he tells me he doesn’t care anymore, even that would be better than the silence and wondering. Nothing.

Eventually I decided to just tell him how hurtful his silence was (in an admittedly harsh final message), and he blocked me.

I’m obviously never going to reach out again. But I think the reason it’s so hard to move on is that I’ve never been the one to chase people in my life. I’ve never acted anything like this before - but I’ve also never been ghosted this coldly before by someone I considered a trusted friend. I’m so angry, hurt, and embarrassed, and the image he probably has of me is of the crazy woman who couldn’t take a hint.

In case you needed the reminder: never, ever, ever chase a ghost. The most likely scenario is continued pain and the humiliation of losing your dignity.

I hate that a part of me still desperately wishes he’ll come back at some point, maybe a year from now, to have one final conversation with me. I just want to understand what happened.