u/primitive-lathe

I’ve always felt ambivalent about my chest, and I’ve been looking into surgery recently mostly because I’m in the US and am worried it may soon become a lot more difficult to get it done. I’ve been out as nonbinary for about ten years and on T for six months. I'm 41 now.

I would love to never have to wear a bra again, and be able to walk around in a t-shirt breathing free without that restriction or the annoying bouncing sensations. I would appreciate being clocked masculine in general but I’m used to not fitting in due to autism so I don’t care that much about it. Tattooing my whole blank chest with no boobs in the way sounds fun.

But I’ve never hated my boobs. They’ve been my awkward little companions. I’m used to having them around and partners like touching them, though lately that's been a little dysphoric. They don’t give me sexual pleasure but it is comforting to cup them sometimes. I know their quirks and weird shapes. I’m afraid I’d regret going through with it all and I’d miss them. I’m kinda sad to think about discarding them, like how I'd be sad taking an old piece of furniture to the landfill.

I would love to know how it was for anybody here who got top surgery later in life. What was your process like? What kinds of feelings came up for you? Were you ever unsure about it?

Feeling really lost. I’ve been on T for six months. My partner has verbally been okay but not overly affirming, and I thought I’d be okay with that since I’d been out as nonbinary the entire time he’s known me, and hormones shouldn’t be that big a deal right? But I’m starting to be more and more masculine, and now I’m on the fence about how I feel about it, and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if what I’m feeling is because T isn’t right for me after all, or because I feel less and less seen by my partner. Last month I was certain I wanted top surgery and now I know I at least need to wait because I don’t want to go through recovery feeling less than fully supported. My heart feels so heavy. I know I should see a therapist but there aren’t any available covered by insurance and I have zero income right now and depend on my partner and father financially. Just shouting into the void right now. So sad and unmoored and I don’t know what to do other than just keep going and wait for some kind of turning point. Before I started the T, we were so affectionate and sweet, it was really the kind of relationship one could brag about. It feels like there’s a big wall between us now. I’ve brought it up a couple times but he insists there’s nothing wrong.

Not for me, but another redditor I'm chatting with. He has considered leaving the military but has no idea what he would do or where he would go. Are there any leftist resources on how to transition into civilian life in a way that still feels meaningful? He cited the structure, stable career path, and camaraderie as things he likes about the military. Are there any civilian paths that have those elements as well, while not being gross things like law enforcement?

It's just really getting to me, all the uncertainty. I've been on T for six months and looking at top surgery in the next year or so... and I don't know if my husband is going to be there for me. He's an honorable type... so I'm not afraid of him leaving me out in the cold, but more so that he'll keep pulling away until we feel like awkward roommates. I keep thinking about how nice it would be to have a partner who was excited about my changes and encouraging of me. And I know there's only so much change we can expect of other people, but also I want to keep giving him the benefit of the doubt that he'll eventually grow with me... but also he's in his 60s and unlikely to change much. I'm so sad and scared to think that I'll have to be the one who makes the decision to leave. I'm so lonely. I know I chose someone who was kind yet emotionally unavailable so that I wouldn't have to feel overwhelmed by connection or fear of loss of emotional support... when in a lot of ways that support has never been there.

I know I've posted about this situation in the past... but it's this combined with not knowing if I'll have to flee the US soon, while I'm in the middle of building community and career where I'm at, so not knowing if it's all going to fall apart.

I’m rehabbing a pigeon for the first time (head trauma, car collision). I was administering some meloxicam and I think I got some in his lungs because he’s coughing now right after. Did I just kill this poor bird or is there anything I can do for him?

I’m near Seattle (not relevant but required to post)

Has anybody gotten one side peri and one side double incision or t-anchor? I’ve got a lot of asymmetry, to the point where one side definitely qualifies for peri and the other definitely does not. I don’t care if the results are perfectly symmetrical, as long as they’re close enough.

Just offering up a little bit of celebration in that I just told my (presumably) cis straight husband that I’m considering top surgery and he was surprised but understanding and supportive and loving! I just feel so relieved

Might be psychosomatic because I've been looking at a lot of top surgery before and afters, but has anybody else gotten a lot of breast pain after being on T? I've been taking low dose (30mg) once a week for the last five months. I used to get some breast tenderness with menstruation, but haven't had a period since month two, and it never was this bad. Now they just ache all day, both of them. Seem a little swollen too. Are they just trying to yeet themselves?

Anybody else out there just like really enjoy doing their T shot? It makes me really happy and I always look forward to shot day. Granted I'm not even a year in yet but just the whole little ritual of it, the aesthetic of all the little medical parts, the physical act of piercing and altering my body, overcoming the microsecond of reservation and the tiny poke pain, doing a medicine that has a directly visually correlated positive effect... I'm just like WHEEE YAY

For context: I'm a chronic pain/illness guy and have a lot of tattoos

Also I trimmed my facial hair for the first time yesterday and I was like WOOHOOO FUN

I just spent some time on r/lesbianorlittleboy and it dawned on me that THIS is why I never really felt dysphoria until middle age. Until now, I’d always looked very youthful when presenting androgynously, like a young boy. It suited me. Now I really WANT to look like a grown up, like someone who has lived half a life, but aging has me just looking strange and saggy. In the span of a few years I went from Peter Pan to… Peter Pan played off broadway by a middle aged woman. I am so ready to look like a grown up now and I think that includes biceps and a mustache.

I'm about to have my first solo show and looking to hit up some arts writers to see if anyone wants to connect about it. I'm told I should put together a press release... I understand this is some sort of PDF with maybe my statement/bio and photos of my work and myself? I have never seen one and don't trust what I see on google anymore because so much is AI generated now. If you've got an example of a good press release and want to share it in the comments, I would so greatly appreciate it!