Personally, I’ve had some insanely amazing experiences and moments throughout my 56 years. I feel incredibly fortunate. Life definitely has its ups and downs, but when times are hard they say to ‘count your blessings’ or write in a gratitude journal, which helps you feel better.
I’d love to read about some of the most amazing times in your life. Like, truly top five experiences.
Personally, I’ve had some insanely amazing experiences and moments throughout my 56 years. I feel incredibly fortunate. Life definitely has its ups and downs, but when times are hard they say to ‘count your blessings’ or write in a gratitude journal, which helps you feel better.
I’d love to read about some of the most amazing times in your life. Like, truly top five experiences.
I finally resigned from my job (last day is in four weeks) and now I’m laying here wondering if I’ve spent the last year and a half in a toxic work environment or if I’ve somehow just become super oversensitive.
For context, I’m in a director role at a smaller workplace. Over the last four months my responsibilities expanded WAY beyond what I was hired to do (with nary a thank you, raise, or incentive - I got a $15 Dunkin Donuts gift card for Christmas…) because we are under new management and the transition has been brutal. Every time there is a problem, a staffing issue, a fire to put out, a concern with a resident, or the Executive Director is out (which is always), ALL responsibility somehow rolls downhill into my lap. Everyone is afraid of the ED so they wait until one of her no-show days (several per week, which she doesn’t notate because she has no timesheet that needs to be approved so there’s no oversight) to dump their work and responsibilities onto me so they can avoid confrontation with her, but I’m just over here screaming into the void that I’M NOT THE ED - no one cares that I’m not the Executive Director…once they’ve told me their problem it’s considered mine to handle!
The ED has a huge personality and can be extremely hot and cold. Some days are totally fine. Most days I get spoken to in ways that leave me sitting at my desk wondering if I’m crazy. I’ve been blamed for her mistakes, been thrown under several buses, had work dumped on me that wasn’t mine, been expected to solve problems outside my lane, had boundaries ignored, and had situations where I felt more like an emotional support human than an employee.
Also, people from completely different departments started bypassing leadership and coming directly to me because I was apparently the person who could “make things happen.” Sounds flattering until you realize you become responsible for absolutely everything while having authority over almost nothing - all while being the absolute lowest paid person on the totem pole.
I also noticed I started changing as a person. Anxiety through the roof. Dreading Sundays. Waking up at 3am thinking about work. Feeling guilty taking PTO despite having plenty of time. Feeling like if I stopped holding everything together, things would fall apart.
As I said, I gave notice recently and instead of feeling excited I mostly feel… exhausted and used and taken advantage of and angry. And weirdly guilty? Like somehow I’m abandoning a ship I never agreed to captain.
People who have left jobs like this: did you realize later that things were worse than you thought? Or is this just what management jobs are now?
TLDR: I feel like my boss is undermining me and TRYING to get me to quit. She will NOT give me even a half-*asked raise…
I’m about to rip my hair out at work, and my ultra, not-so-subtle, passive aggressive boss is making my life MISERABLE…
For context, about two years ago(ish), I posted on Reddit asking for everyone’s opinions on whether I should take a job literally right next door to my house for $65k or accept a $100k job with a 1 1/2 hour commute (each way) - 95% of Redditors said it’s a no brainer - accept the lower paying job for less money. So I did.
It was an amazing decision at the start. I don’t know where things went south, but it definitely took a turn about nine months ago (after few months after my boss’s stroke), three months before our unforeseen new management takeover. It’s been the takeover from hell.
With no reporting to, or oversight from corporate, my boss has been largely MIA coming in very late (or not at all most days), gone every Wednesday morning until after 11 am, out every single Friday for almost two years. 95% of both our responsibilities have been dumped on my shoulders. (She IS committing timesheet fraud.)
With corporate’s planned visit this week, I kind of feel they’re aware of what’s going and ‘see’ me - they alluded to in comments to me.
The issue is I have received another offer. It’s a 100% commission interior design/sales role, which I previously did for seven years and excelled at. Downside is the ramp up is 5-6 months at very low pay. There are negatives to this particular design company I haven’t faced in the past. The role is not looking attractive but in my HCOL area, it’s at least an ace in my back pocket. I don’t think I’m comfortable using it for leverage because of my current company calls my bluff, I am not entirely sure if even accept the design job…
Anyway, I just want to lay a few grievances bare to see if I’m crazy and it’s all in my head and I should keep my current job. I’m NOT being dramatic with the following, it’s all legit:
My boss had a stroke the first week I was in my new supervisory managerial role - she was out three weeks, and I had zero support from corporate. Trial by fire but I took it like a champ.
Soon after I started what was a M-F job morphed - she required me to work some weekends each month (would have been a deal breaker for me, but at this point I was new to the role and agreed) now it’s escalated to me working every Friday night in addition to some weekends. I was voluntold, not asked.
I manage the front desk team so, because I literally live next door, boss required me to tromp through several feet of snow to make it in daily, cover my call-out front desk staff, and never bothered to say thank you or come in herself.
All non-exempt employees received $1k-$1,5k bonuses at Christmas, I got a $15 gift card to Dunkin Donuts…
We have a restaurant on site - I was MOD (manager on duty) a night two weeks ago, and a server whose hours were cut back for no-show/no-call was giving me absolutely EVIL stares that freaked me out. Chef had taken him off the schedule, but he clearly blamed me, and instead of keeping him off schedule, my boss undermined the Chef and hired him back on. I went on record that he’s dangerous and she blew me off.
While I was MOD a few weeks ago, boss had arranged a building-wide 5-minute long fire alarm test and didn’t warn the residents. I had to go into full damage control and our residents were furious. No apology or follow up from boss…
Yesterday, my boss commented to me that, after almost 18 months, “You might prove yourself invaluable around here if you keep this up.” WTF?! This place would literally fall apart if I’m not here (I know most people feel that way, lol).
Then today she gives a person I manage her 2nd raise in a year, two cooks a raise, two servers a raise, and me nothing. What a slap in the face. She KNOWS I need a raise in my low-paying role. Her only comment was, “You’re next.” But she’s been saying that for nine months!
Anyway, it gets worse and worse.
I’m open to feedback. I just desperately need to vent. I’m at my breaking point.
My mom and husband want me to remove the emotion from the situation and just keep looking for a new job but with the Federal work force cuts where I live, jobs are SCARCE.