When did you realize it? Did you feel despair, grief, something else? And if so, how did you come to accept it and move on? How has your life been with an adult child living at home? Has planning for retirement looked different from the usual? Any advice for others facing a similar future?
My 18 year old daughter wanted me to share my location with her. I declined. She got annoyed with me. She tried the "well you're seeing my location!" tactic, which is true. My reply to her is that she is correct, but now that she is 18 I will unfollow her as she is an adult. That annoyed her more.
I've seen how she and her boyfriend (will one day be her husband) always know where the other is. She is always looking up where he is, and I assume he does that with her. It seems to be the Gen Z thing to do. I don't understand the need for that, but good for them if it makes them happy. I lived my entire life just fine without anyone knowing where I am at all times, and quite frankly I am finding that little bit of (relative) freedom something I want to maintain.
My wife is already annoyed with me that I won't share with her. Same rules apply. If I'm out golfing (as an example) I just want to be completely disconnected for a time. If you need me, call or text me. I don't need or want anyone keeping tabs on me 24/7.
I don't think I am being hypocritical either. If you are not one of my minor children, I don't have any reason to track you. And to be honest I rarely if ever check on my other teens. 99% of the time I use Find my iPhone is to help them find their phones.
It seems that, at least in my life here, I am in a pretty small minority when it comes to this opinion. Wondering how small that is in the wider world of reddit GenX?
Yep, us Gen Xers who have had to figure out how to not get kidnapped, the Internet, etc are the most comfortable.
Just dropping this here for giggles:
My coworker with a teenager said the younger generations now call tramp stamps "cake toppers." This made me laugh out loud 🤣 Good for them for finding a term with less negative connotations. Interesting fad to make a comeback. Can't wait till the rise on jeans goes to 3" again to show them off... Not!!!
I had a great talk with my sister recently, and we both finally talked about how our parents weren’t emotionally present. They loved us, and provided for us the best they could. But they really didn’t emotionally support us. Boys were supported. Girls were managed.
They told us to do our homework. They told us to change our clothes when they didn’t approve of what we were wearing. They told us and showed us how to “behave.” We were praised by relatives for being polite and well mannered.
Our parents couldn’t deal with emotion. They had very difficult lives and came from childhood privation. I think they got so used to surviving that is was the best they could do.
If we got good grades, the praise was “you’ll be able to get a good job and support yourself.” There was never any “tell me what you’re thinking” “tell me your fears” “what’s something good going on in your life”?
So, not a bad or scary or sad childhood. Just one where we learned to overperform and keep our needs to ourselves. I think we felt responsible for their emotional wellbeing, and they didn’t have the capacity to be responsible for ours.
It sounds whiney. But, I don’t know. I’m in my 50s, and it hasn’t been that long that I could feel comfortable asking for what I want, telling my loved ones when I am sad or angry, realizing that I don’t have to just handle everything without help. My parents are in their 80s, and I still have a fear of disappointing them.
Just blathering here. I love my parents. I don’t love the stoic upbringing I had. I’m grateful that my sister and I could discuss it together and validate each other.
Wanting a distinctly GenX perspective on this topic. To quote PB, "hit me with your best shot"
I'm looking to navigate the choppy waters of life until the Great Pipe Dream aka "retirement" (Medicare and SS kicks in...one can hope) or until I can draw from savings without tax penalties.
Would you...
A couple things that complicate matters...
I've taken a mental break away to enjoy more non-tech hobby stuff like reading, art and wasting time.
OK if you're serious or humorous or both?
Honest to God, I want to slap everybody who says that to me lately.
What kind of homemade item did you get because the " real " one was too expensive. This can include fashion!
Who bought one of these thinking everyone will think I am cool?
Or any of the other members of the gang? We were besieged with this ad in our magazines etc, but I don't know of anyone who actually applied to this place 🤣
A few days ago, someone posted about those old “X-Ray Specs”. Here are some more examples of those types of ads from that era.
I just dug out my old comics.
Does anyone remember W being a vowel?
“A, E, I, O, U, sometime Y, sometimes W”?
We learned this in elementary school, and then around the time I was in middle school, it seems the W was removed or obsolete.
I told my husband about this (he is a bit younger than me) and he looked at me like I had three heads!
Edit to add: I am 56 years old. ***
I would like to know if any GenX started school younger than today's kids. I started first grade when I was 5 and turned 6 during the school term. Now, kids are pushing 7 in first grade. Was it only my location or did all GenX kids begin school younger?
I grew up listening to punk. While I never had a Mohawk or Liberty Spikes I always identified as a punk.
Now that I'm in my 50s I wonder if I can still consider myself a punk. I don't want to be one of those guys who is living in the past and mourning his younger self.
Ant other "old punks" out there?
Gen Z here. Y’all just had to make Uptown Girl and We Built This City popular songs huh? Now they play every damn day at work.
It's been 30+ years since graduating and my closet is still filled with just t-shirts and jeans. My fashion sense has never grown up, I guess. But I also have never felt the need to. I own only 1 suit and it's for funerals... And it's honestly too big and should be donated. My job has a uniform (mail carrier) but outside of that it's just the same stuff I wore as a kid. Honestly there are still one or two shirts that are 30+ years old in there that my wife cannot convince me to throw away lol.
And while I'm asking, when did cargo shorts become a bad thing to wear? I'm getting made fun of for those but I can't abandon them. The utility of pockets is too much of a valuable resource to me.
49F here. I made the decision to stop coloring my hair a couple of.months back.
But now I am looking for another job.
Is the gray hair a mark against me in this hellish job market?
I’m 51 in a committed relationship for 20+ years. Same good job for 25 years. Live in an area with low COL. No debt. About $750k total in retirement and assets. Good shape, been a runner for 30 years. Daughter successful launched.
I’m bored. Life is monotonous. I want to … just leave. Move away and take a less demanding job for way less money. It would be messy. But I’m in a decent enough position to be able to do it. Just not sure I have the courage.
Curious if anyone has done something like this and how it turned out. I’ve done nothing notable in my life. This would be notable lol.
Edit to add: funny how many thought I’m a man. Is this not something associated with women?
Edit again to add: I’ve gotten some very helpful feedback and suggestions here. Thank you. I have a nice list of items to think about / work on now. Sincere appreciation for reading my post and the thoughtful comments.
I'll start. Ones that springs to mind, 'Judgement Night' & 'Singles'