u/r_e_nelly

There was something noticed in meditation today for the first time. There is the witness / observer / awareness and then there’s the observed—even the witness / awareness is an object within consciousness. The Witness does not mean ego, it is prior, then there’s something even prior to awareness—prefer the term absolute consciousness that I stole from Maharaj because I couldn’t come up with a better one. I never knew what he meant till today.

I know I’ll never be able to describe this perfectly using words. But sharing is caring.

I tried 5-MeO (4mg) over the weekend, and even though it was a relatively small dose from what I hear, it felt incredibly intense based on the experience I had.

It honestly felt like I blasted off. I started seeing and feeling as if all concepts and all matter became one thing. Boundaries disappeared, dualities collapsed, and I was overwhelmed by this feeling of both bliss and terror at the same time. Good and evil both felt wrapped in unconditional love, but my ego resisted it. I kept asking why there was so much suffering in this life, and my mind couldn’t make sense of it.

Once I surrendered that resistance, I started to understand—not intellectually, but deeply—that if existence is infinite, then unconditional love has to include both good and evil, because it’s all part of the same whole. Otherwise it wouldn’t really be unconditional.
But the intensity of that love was so overwhelming that I honestly couldn’t imagine taking another dose.

Has anyone else experienced something like this?