u/radiantsoul_

My parents got married about 34 years ago. 1 or 2 years into their marriage, they bought their own fridge. They moved out of my grandparents’ when I was 6 but the fridge came along with them. And we still have it! It still functions efficiently thirty years later. It now serves as our secondary fridge. Items back in the day were truly made to last!

Do you have / know of any such item which dates back to ages ago but is still fully functional?

I’m really curious to know why most of these reiki healers on YouTube wear so much makeup? I keep getting distracted by their makeup (including nails and hairstyle) rather than on focusing on the healing.

A real life advice to all those who are upset about their 12th CBSE results

33F. I stumbled upon a few posts on here about students feeling like a failure after their 12th results and wanting to commit suicide, or parents making them feel like a failure.

I wanted to give you all some advice - i think it might help you.

MARKS DO NOT MATTER IN LIFE. I know your parents will not believe if you said this to them. Mine didn’t either.

I was AIR-2 in CBSE 10th. 95.75% in CBSE 12th. Great accolades, great achievements. I did make it to prestigious organisations and have a pretty decent career right now. I thought I’ve nailed it. But reality is different. Here’s how -

1. Most of my classmates who never “got a rank” are now well settled in various parts of the West (USA, UK, Germany, etc.). Their linkedins and Instagram tell that they are in good jobs.

2. My younger brother was an average student. Mom dad always used to scold him a lot and made him feel like a failure, because I had set a high benchmark for him, right? We are both CA’s, I took 2 attempts and he took 4. But guess what? He’s in a higher paying job than me right now. He’s an investment banker in Mumbai.

3. My cousins - all of them average students. Their parents were unlike mine - no constant rebuking and pressurising to study harder. MOST of my cousins are now earning higher salaries than me today.

4. I have worked at EY, Deloitte and Alvarez and Marsal. I know people who are NOT from top tier colleges or B-schools but who are at the same designation and salary bracket as me or higher than me. Then again there are those who ARE from tier 1 B-schools (IIMs for example) but have exhibited really slow growth in their careers.

You get the point right? In a span of 80 years of average human life, your 12th marks are really insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Only you can define what success means to you.

Each one of you is special and talented and has your own unique skills and qualities. You might have already discovered them, or will discover them with time. But don’t let ANYONE, even for a second, let you believe that you are a failure. You’re NOT.

Long post.

I love my parents as a child, but I don’t necessarily get along well with them and have some resentment in my heart for them due to the way my childhood was spent. They did everything they could for me and my brother, but I feel they didn’t love me the way I needed (my brother might feel that way because he doesn’t have the same issues with our parents as I have). They were very controlling and loved me conditionally.

For example, they’d be extremely happy and loving when I got good marks. But they’d be upset if I did anything apart from study. I was barely allowed to go on school trips. Idk what their excuse was - whether it was the school charging too much money Or them thinking that the outings will “spoil” me and distract me from studies.

I barely made any real friends because my classmates saw me as a nerd. I was an avid reader but parents hated that too. My dad once tore a novel I was reading.

In addition to these issues, I used to have a very rough relationship with my mom throughout my teenage. When I was 13, I remember her saying, “teenagers are mad” in a demeaning and derogatory tone. She would get mad at me for apparently trivial things and it would escalate to the point that we’d stop talking to each other for months while living in the same house. I remember crying often before a friend in college about how i felt awful at home. I remember having so much hatred for them back then about all these things, especially about being physically abusive (nothing concerning but even a slap enraged me).

Fast forward to 2022 - I eloped. Married a guy I loved and obviously they didn’t approve of him. I actually got into some trouble after marrying him. Our relationship was strained due to some reasons. I felt miserable, and THIS was the time when my bond with my parents actually improved. They supported me emotionally through my bad time. The dynamics changed - we became friends instead of parent child. I was also softer towards them because of the guilt of causing them shame and embarrassment from me eloping.

By 2026, my marriage got 1000x better and I thought I healed from everything - my childhood “trauma” , relationship problems, etc.

But recently my mom moved in with me due to some reasons, and now we are almost fighting everyday. I feel triggered all the time. It’s almost as if my childhood is back - her trying to be controlling (because she’s the MOM right?) and me being rebellious.

I feel guilty and angry at the same time. They’re getting old and we are their support system, But why can’t they acknowledge that they’re not in charge of our lives anymore? I’m so grateful that they brought us up so well and educated us and provided for us, but does that entitle them to say whatever shit they want to say to us?

Maybe I’m wrong in all this. Maybe I’m a negative thinker. Or maybe I’m right and there’s an issue that needs to be addressed. Or maybe we simply need to maintain our distance to live peacefully - but sadly that’s not an option. And when o suggested this to her, she became all the more angry and upset and felt insulted. My peace of mind is gone and I’m lost on what to do.