u/radonspectrum

I absolutely struggled playing returnal, it was my first roguelike/roguelite game. It took me many hours to complete biome 1.I did eventually reach biome 3 and I even reached the boss but I realised I wasn't having fun, so I set the game aside.

This game clicked for me, I'm enjoying it a lot and I got all the first act biomes done in less than 7-8 runs with the 5th one in only the 2nd run(in the first run, I completed the nightmare strand and I had very less health for the architect). I was even motivated to revisit the earlier biomes and farm lucenite and halcyon.

So I did go back and farm halcyon in the earlier biomes and I got all the halcyon in the first 3 biomes but I'm still way behind. There's way too many halcyon upgrades to complete. Currently entering biome 6 with 19 proficiency (I completed all the biomes by entering directly).

I'm getting absolutely destroyed in biome 6. The enemies are suddenly so spongy and take so many bullets. It takes forever to complete one fight and one hit takes away so much health.. Is this how the game is going to be after act 1? I haven't made proper use of parry yet so I probably have to look into that.

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I was smart once, graduating from a good college with good grades . I tried my best to change my introverted nature and I actually did it eventually. I even served as a core committee member of a college club which was very challenging. But even after trying so hard, I'm just an after thought in everyone's life.. I have no real meaningful relationships apart from 2 or 3 friends and my family who have been so supportive.

I had so many dreams for myself but it feels like I literally can't do anything all day. Overthinking just kills me. It feels like I spend so much time even in trivial tasks. I don't remember anything even if I'm in my room. Even If I somehow spend time studying or doing something productive, I just forget everything. I spend my whole day inside the same room. People have friends, go on trips, have side hobbies etc and I can't do one thing right.. I stopped driving because of anxiety issues even though I have a license. I feel like I'll get laid off from my first ever job and I just don't know where to go later. To make things worse, everything seems to go against me and yes I know I'm probably just complaining due to my incompetence but my god, the amount of bad luck I have is just insane.I try to be kind, considerate and I always own up to my mistakes. If anything, the fact that I'm a better person than many people I interact with is the only takeaway I have but that is also useless. Many of these bad people have good lives, are resourceful, have many friends, go out, enjoy life and what not. I have no friends, no career probably and I hardly step out of my house because I have nothing to do.

I bawl my eyes out time and time and this has been my story for a couple of years, I tried and tried during my education years too but my god Im just a loser ig.

At this point, I don't know what to do.