his parents don't go through his packages because they're normal and not hitlers. he wasn't even bothered or concerned about DIY when I first asked about it I just told him it's legit and he trusted me. Genuinely the only person who has my back at this point in my life why can't all cissoids just be chill like this
I was in boymode and am 5'11" with long hair, it's pretty obvious what was up. I was absolutely terrified and have only done it twice before. The first time it went surprisingly well, the second time the guy behind the counter kept calling me "buddy" as if he was trying to remind me that I was a man.
After a couple of minutes loitering around the section with the dresses and trying not to get glared at by the Barry 63s I found one that I liked and took it to the counter. There was a Germaine Greer phenotype lady behind the counter and as she was scanning it and stuff it was really awkward and uncomfortable but I thought it'd be like that and I'd brush it off and that would be it. Then as she handed me the receipt with a kind of irritated face she told me it came with a warranty "in case there's any problems with the frock".
She said it with so much venom and contempt in her voice and I kind of awkwardly said thank you and stuff and left and locked myself in a toilet and broke down crying. What did I even do to offend her? It's not like she felt threatened or that I was actively being imposing- I'm quite autistic and my mannerisms aren't masculine. She didn't say it like she was scared of me, it was just hate in her voice. I wasn't buying underwear or something, wasn't trying to go into the toilets, like I wasn't acting like the stereotype of the pervert I assume she thought I was. Literally all I was doing was buying a piece of clothing.
What was the point anyway? Just to remind me that I'm a freak? If I ever get out of boymode is this what people are going to be thinking about me me every day? The way she was so cruel reminded me of how my mum treated me before I was pushed back into the closet. I thought it was a nice dress but I don't even know if I'll be able to wear it without thinking about today.
Why couldn't I just have been a woman? And failing that, why does everybody have to be so cruel about everything? I was completely polite, I said please and thank you, but I got hate just for being a 🚆🦵. I'm never setting foot in that shop again. There was a massive poetry anthology that I was interested in and was going to come back for but I don't think I will. I literally can't bear the idea of seeing that lady again.
fmstl why couldn't I just be normal. I'm disgusting to society and a disappointment to my family.