u/rb_154

I (23M) have been with my girlfriend (25F) for a few years and we currently live together in her city, about 3.5 hours away from my family and the city where I grew up.

The issue is that I really miss my family, my hometown, and honestly the lifestyle there. I often talk about wanting to move back someday, ideally with her, but she doesn’t want that at all. She has a small family that isn’t very close, so her support system is mostly her friends where we currently live. Both cities are major cities, so it’s not really about “big city vs small town,” it’s more about where our roots and emotional connections are.

She’s getting frustrated because she feels like I’m never fully happy living here and that I’m too focused on the idea of eventually moving back near my family instead of building our life together where we are now.

At the same time, I’m scared that if I stay away from my family long term, I’ll regret it later in life. I’m very close to them and I genuinely miss being around them regularly. But I also love my girlfriend and we’ve already built a life together. We live together, and both of our families have invested time, money, and effort into our relationship.

One thing that makes this harder is that my work offers mobility, meaning I could realistically transfer closer to my family in the future if things go sideways between us. So part of me wonders if I’m sacrificing something important to stay here now, while another part of me worries I’m sabotaging a good relationship by always thinking about “what if.”

I feel stuck between choosing the relationship and choosing proximity to my family/home. Has anyone been through something similar? Did you regret staying away from family, or regret prioritizing family over your partner?

I (23M) have been with my girlfriend (25F) for a few years and we currently live together in her city, about 3.5 hours away from my family and the city where I grew up.

The issue is that I really miss my family, my hometown, and honestly the lifestyle there. I often talk about wanting to move back someday, ideally with her, but she doesn’t want that at all. She has a small family that isn’t very close, so her support system is mostly her friends where we currently live. Both cities are major cities, so it’s not really about “big city vs small town,” it’s more about where our roots and emotional connections are.

She’s getting frustrated because she feels like I’m never fully happy living here and that I’m too focused on the idea of eventually moving back near my family instead of building our life together where we are now.

At the same time, I’m scared that if I stay away from my family long term, I’ll regret it later in life. I’m very close to them and I genuinely miss being around them regularly. But I also love my girlfriend and we’ve already built a life together. We live together, and both of our families have invested time, money, and effort into our relationship.

One thing that makes this harder is that my work offers mobility, meaning I could realistically transfer closer to my family in the future if things go sideways between us. So part of me wonders if I’m sacrificing something important to stay here now, while another part of me worries I’m sabotaging a good relationship by always thinking about “what if.”

I feel stuck between choosing the relationship and choosing proximity to my family/home. Has anyone been through something similar? Did you regret staying away from family, or regret prioritizing family over your partner?

**TL;DR;** : Those who moved away from family for love.