u/re_okamura1903

I'm 36 and only started driving in the US about 2 months ago. I moved from Japan, where I didn't really need a car, so I'm learning later than many people.

I've actually made a lot of progress. I can drive on highways, merge, change lanes, drive to work, and even drive to busy places like Arundel Mills.

The problem is my husband teaching me.

Whenever I make a mistake, he asks me "why?" over and over again.

"Why didn't you see that sign?"
"Why did you brake there?"
"Why didn't you notice the blue pole?"

He says he wants to understand my thinking, but the way he asks feels like an interrogation. He asks question after question in an intense tone and it has made me cry three times now.

I don't mind feedback. My driving instructor gives me corrections and advice and I never feel bad. She'll say things like, "Next time try this," or "Watch for this." I actually appreciate her feedback.

But with my husband, I end up feeling judged and stupid, like I'm a child being scolded or a criminal being questioned.

Tonight I drove in a very busy area with lots of traffic and unfamiliar roads. I got confused because he gave me a direction based on a "blue pole," which I didn't notice while trying to focus on driving safely. Then I got questioned afterward and ended up crying again.

I feel like my confidence is dropping because I'm starting to expect criticism every time I drive with him.

Am I overreacting? Has anyone else had a spouse or family member whose teaching style just didn't work for them?

I'm 36 years old and recently started driving again after not driving for about 11 years.

I have a learner's permit in Maryland and My goal is to get my license around July.

The thing is, I don't practice a lot. Most of my practice sessions are only about 5-10 minutes at a time. Usually I drive from my house to a nearby gym and back inside my community. On weekends, I practice a little more because of work and schedule limitations.

So far I have:

• Driven around my neighborhood multiple times
• Driven to a nearby Food Lion and back
• Parked at the gym and at home
• Parked in my garage with minimal help
• Reached speeds around 40-42 mph on local roads

However, I still make mistakes:

• Missed a turn back to my neighborhood
• Sometimes end up in the wrong lane
• Almost hit a curb during a turn
• Occasionally struggle judging turns around curbs
• Feel nervous about driving alone
• Feel very nervous about highways

My husband practices with me and says I've improved a lot. Recently he has been giving fewer corrections and even suggested I try driving to work with supervision. He also thinks I could eventually handle highway driving.

The strange thing is that I don't remember being this scared when I first learned to drive years ago. Now I feel much more aware of accidents and consequences, which sometimes makes me wonder if I'm progressing too slowly.

For people who returned to driving after many years, or for driving instructors:

1. Does my progress sound normal?
2. Is practicing short 5-10 minute drives still helpful?
3. How long did it take before you felt comfortable driving alone again?
4. Did anyone else become more afraid of driving as they got older?

I'd also like to hear about other people's learning experiences.

What mistakes did you make when you were learning to drive or returning to driving after a long break?

Some of my recent mistakes include:

• Missing turns
• Being in the wrong lane
• Almost hitting a curb during a turn
• Hesitating at intersections
• Struggling to tell if my steering wheel was fully centered

Did you make similar mistakes?

How many hours did you practice before you felt comfortable driving alone?

Did you ever feel like giving up or think that everyone else was learning faster than you?

I'd appreciate honest feedback.

I recently had an interview for a part-time student support/community-facing position at a university, and I honestly cannot tell if I should feel hopeful or protect myself emotionally from disappointment.

For context:
I recently moved from Japan to the US as a military spouse, so rebuilding my career here has been really difficult emotionally. Most of my previous interviews in the US felt very formal/corporate:

• interviewer is polite during interview
• asks standard questions
• ends on time
• never replies again after thank-you email
• feels emotionally distant

This interview felt completely different.

First I had a Zoom panel interview, and at the end they said something like:
“We’d love to meet you in person soon.”

Then I got invited for an in-person interview with leadership/staff.

The interview was supposed to be 30 minutes but became almost 1 hour. Honestly maybe 60% personal/life conversation and 40% actual work discussion.

We talked about:

• military spouse life
• moving internationally
• Japan/US cultural experiences
• long-term education goals
• future career paths
• balancing study and work
• helping students/community

The interviewer also:

• introduced me to another student worker/staff member
• explained actual shift environment/workflow
• encouraged me to continue studying while working
• talked about future growth/full-time opportunities
• mentioned I could potentially teach in higher education one day if I pursue graduate school
• gave me a business card personally
• encouraged me to contact them if I had questions

Then after I sent a thank-you email, they replied warmly and said it was a pleasure meeting me and that I’m welcome to contact them anytime if questions come up.

I KNOW none of this guarantees a job offer.

But this felt SO different from previous interviews that I’m confused emotionally now 😭

Part of me feels:
“they genuinely liked me and can imagine me there.”

Another part of me is scared I’m just emotionally attaching to professional kindness because I want stability so badly after struggling to find work in the US.

People around me (husband/family) think this sounds very positive, but I’m trying to stay realistic too.

For people who interview candidates or work in student support/higher education:
Does this sound like genuinely strong interest?
Or can university/community interviews naturally feel this warm even if they still reject the candidate later?

I recently had an interview for a part-time student support/community-facing position at a university, and I honestly cannot tell if I should feel hopeful or protect myself emotionally from disappointment.

For context:
I recently moved from Japan to the US as a military spouse, so rebuilding my career here has been really difficult emotionally. Most of my previous interviews in the US felt very formal/corporate:

• interviewer is polite during interview
• asks standard questions
• ends on time
• never replies again after thank-you email
• feels emotionally distant

This interview felt completely different.

First I had a Zoom panel interview, and at the end they said something like:
“We’d love to meet you in person soon.”

Then I got invited for an in-person interview with leadership/staff.

The interview was supposed to be 30 minutes but became almost 1 hour. Honestly maybe 60% personal/life conversation and 40% actual work discussion.

We talked about:

• military spouse life
• moving internationally
• Japan/US cultural experiences
• long-term education goals
• future career paths
• balancing study and work
• helping students/community

The interviewer also:

• introduced me to another student worker/staff member
• explained actual shift environment/workflow
• encouraged me to continue studying while working
• talked about future growth/full-time opportunities
• mentioned I could potentially teach in higher education one day if I pursue graduate school
• gave me a business card personally
• encouraged me to contact them if I had questions

Then after I sent a thank-you email, they replied warmly and said it was a pleasure meeting me and that I’m welcome to contact them anytime if questions come up.

I KNOW none of this guarantees a job offer.

But this felt SO different from previous interviews that I’m confused emotionally now 😭

Part of me feels:
“they genuinely liked me and can imagine me there.”

Another part of me is scared I’m just emotionally attaching to professional kindness because I want stability so badly after struggling to find work in the US.

People around me (husband/family) think this sounds very positive, but I’m trying to stay realistic too.

For people who interview candidates or work in student support/higher education:
Does this sound like genuinely strong interest?
Or can university/community interviews naturally feel this warm even if they still reject the candidate later?