r/drivinganxiety

i was finally doing so good, i got my own car and everything. i started highway driving and doing long distances. one idiot going 20 over running a red slammed into me and ended up completely flipped my car upside down. i feel like i relapsed back into my old fears. i couldn't even stand the drive home from the hospital i was SO . TERRIFIED. what do i do now? 😭 i dont even have a vehicle anymore to get back into driving. ughhhhh i hate irresponsible drivers

I got my driver’s license after a 5-year journey. If you’re struggling to get yours, don’t give up. I wanted to share my story because I know there are people who feel embarrassed, frustrated, or “behind” because they don’t have their license yet. I started trying to get mine when I was 16 in 2020. I genuinely thought I’d have it within a year or two. I was VERY wrong. 😭

2020: I took driver’s ed during COVID. The DMV was closed, so we couldn’t take the written exam normally. When my school eventually offered it, I failed my first attempt.

2021: I retook the exam and failed by only two points. A few weeks later, I passed with a 92/94 and got my blue card. I thought I was finally on my way.
Then Hurricane Ida (those who are from nj remember) flooded our apartment. We lost a bunch of important documents, including my Social Security card. I couldn’t get my permit because I didn’t have the documentation I needed. My family was also dealing with finding somewhere to stay and getting our home repaired.

2022: Once everything was settled, I replaced my Social Security card and finally got my permit in April. I was so happy. Unfortunately, I forgot to get the permit validated. 💀 I also started college at Rutgers, and between EOF, school, extracurriculars, and everything else, I barely had time to learn how to drive. Rutgers also has a decent bus system, so I didn’t need a car.

Late 2022/2023: I finally started taking driving lessons. My instructor noticed the permit issue and also told me my blue card had expired because I had turned 18. So I had to take the written exam AGAIN.
I failed. I retook it in February 2023 and passed.
I took some driving lessons during spring break, but then summer came. I was taking classes and working at a summer camp, so I barely had time to practice. My uncle also tried teaching me how to drive in Massachusetts. That experience was honestly pretty stressful. I wasn’t driving as well as I expected, he got frustrated with me, and I was homesick on top of everything. I scheduled a road test for winter break, thinking I’d finally have enough time to practice. Then I had emergency surgery in November. So obviously, driving was put on hold again.

2024: I was fully recovered, but I was busy with school and eventually became an Orientation Leader at Rutgers. I was on campus constantly. My permit also expired in April, so I had to get another one.
At this point, I was honestly starting to wonder if I would EVER get my license. 😭

2025: This was finally the year I decided I was DONE. I started getting jealous of my friends who had their licenses and cars. I was tired of constantly taking Uber/Lyft when I needed to go somewhere that public transportation couldn’t easily reach.
When I came home after the semester, everyone kept asking me: “Why don’t you drive?” “Where’s your license?” And eventually I realized: they were right. Enough was enough. My permit was valid, but my previous written-test results had expired, so I had to take the knowledge test AGAIN. This time, I studied my ass off. I passed. I scheduled my road test for July. And by the grace of God, I PASSED THE ROAD TEST ON MY FIRST TRY.

On July 9, 2025, I finally got my probationary driver’s license. A year later, I upgraded to my full basic driver’s license.
And here’s the funny part: I still don’t own a car. 😂
I still take NJ Transit and Uber when I need to. But having the license itself means so much to me because I spent YEARS trying to get it.
Looking back, I don’t think I was “behind.” Life just kept happening.

COVID happened. A hurricane happened. Important documents were lost. School happened. College happened. Jobs happened. My permit and test results expired. I had a difficult time learning. I had emergency surgery. There were so many moments where I could have just given up. But I kept coming back to it.

So if you’re 18, 20, 25, 30, or older and you still don’t have your license:
Don’t feel ashamed.
Your timeline doesn’t have to look like everybody else’s. You might have to take the test more than once. You might have to renew your permit. You might have to put driving on hold because life gets in the way. That’s okay.
Delayed does not mean denied.
Keep working toward it when you’re able to. Eventually, you’ll have that moment where you can finally say: “I did it.”
And trust me, after waiting five years, that feeling is AMAZING.

I'm 22, my first try I did a lane violation I wasn't well taught on this by my siblings lol 😭 on my second I forgot to check blind spot when merging on the bike lane I guess i was nervous (but the rest I did perfectly)

my 3rd try is tomorrow I think I have learned from my mistakes lol pray for me i can't do this a 4th time!

I'm 20F and I've just failed my second driving test. I've driven about 65-70 hours and I still can't pass.

When it's just me and my instructor it's pretty okay, I can drive without a problem... But when it comes to the test, I get so anxious I forget everything.

Today was my second test and I almost had a panic attack while driving when I couldn't do the parking, my hands were so shaky...

My problem is not the driving itself, it's the test. But if I can't do the test I won't ever get my license.

I'm thinking about just giving up, because I genuinely feel like I will never pass.

Even if somehow I do pass, no one will want to sit behind a driver who needed 3 or 4 tries to pass... Everyone will think I'm a bad driver or won't feel safe with me driving.

I lost all motivation and all my self-confidence.

What do you think I should do? Should I give up? Should I keep wasting money?

Do any of you that have kids and no license? I feel like the only thing that would make me get my license is if I was to have children. I’m just curious about other people and what they’re able to do ever without a license

i'm 20. i have had anxiety centered around cars for forever. for a long time i couldn't even ride in them as a passenger. i have come a longgg way though, and got my license a year ago and just bought a car.

i am now driving alone, without anyone else in the car, for the first time ever, and it is horrifying. i still dread my drive to work every day and i've been doing it for two weeks now. i always thought the fear and anxiety would go away once i finally did it but it hasn't. for those of you that got through this, how long did it take to finally feel comfortable and calm behind the wheel?

I have passed my permit test and need to practice driving but I am scared of other drivers hitting me because I live in a heavy populated area with bad drivers.

So I was just driving around with a buddy, we were parked somewhere, when I was reversing there was a guy who quite literally didn’t have his lights on and he almost hit me.

He then proceeded to roll his window down and scream “hey Buddy look where people are fucking coming from, you bitch!” Then I looked at him, smiled, and turned my brights on (not at him) to indicate that he needs some form of lighting, as it’s literally pitch black.

Is this my fault for not paying close enough attention, or his for not having any lights (or brights) on.

Although I’m not gonna hold any hate against him, as he looked like he was drunk, or at least a few drinks in going home.

UPDATE: I found a local driving school that offers a package specifically designed for nervous drivers and drivers with adhd. I’m planning to enroll this fall. Has anyone found that specialized instruction like this was helpful in overcoming their fear?

I’m 37. I tried a few years ago to learn to drive and the person teaching me screamed at me and startled me and I ended up wrecking my car. I took a few years off from trying but I’m tired of being at the mercy of Ubers or friends. I have pretty severe adhd and I worry about handling the distractions on the road. I mainly panic about merging and turning. A friend recommended a steering wheel knob to make turning easier. Has anyone found that helpful? Are there any car features that have helped with driving anxiety? Want to conquer this fear so bad. I feel like my lack of a license has held me back from fully living my life. Any advice?

So I’m of the age of 30 and have never drive.n car since I have friends that are my transportation but I want to be able to drive myself. I’m terrified of not being able to line the car up on the highway properly, it’s difficult looking in the mirrors as I try driving as best as I can, merging on, being incapable of lining my car up on the lines not knowing if they are correctly in between the lines and parking near cars. Long story I know. Any constructive advice you could give me?

I had my second driving test today after nearly driving for 2 years, I failed with 2 serious faults and did even worse than last time. My instructor said the problem isn’t my ability but it’s falling apart as soon as panic sets in, it gets so bad that I start gagging and disassociating (which is obvs not good when driving). I also can’t sleep before because of the stress and only had about 4hrs the night before. My parents have suggested beta blockers so I’m gonna try and go the doctors to see if it helps and if I can get prescribed. Out of curiosity have they been helpful for anyone else?

Does anyone else feel like you’re too worried about how other drivers are perceiving you? I feel like this is my biggest issue. I know you’re supposed to be courteous to other drivers and pay attention to them to an extent, but I feel like i’m so focused on what other drivers are thinking of me that it makes driving feel more like a performance than getting to where I need to go.

Okay so basically today I was driving and my brain for some reason either zoned out or panicked when it saw a whole line of cars plus a semi was merging into my lane. I tried to merge to the other lane but no spot available so I sort was unsure what to do as there was a whole semi merging towards me and idk why but instead of acting rationally my brain panicked and fucking kept going, not speeding up but just sort of accepting I was going to die? I can’t remember, my brain completely blacks out any traumatic memories so it’s very hard to remember what happened just 30 minutes ago.

Well the truck seemed to notice and fully braked and I copied, letting them merge in front of me. But idk, it’s stuff like this that makes me yearn for a walkable city where I can easily get 2 jobs. No such thing exists in the US though, so, I’m forced to drive even though I’d rather not.

I’ve been having to do 120 round-trip mile drives very recently because I just started a new job. Don’t get me wrong I’m moving much closer very soon so I won’t be driving nearly as much anymore after this week, but I feel like maybe I caused this even though I know I did not intentionally cause it. This doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have been at fault for the accident ofc but my brain for some reason is telling me that I should’ve known better or something I’m not sure what it’s trying to tell me actually idk I’m just panicking rn and my thoughts are all scrambled.

I have been trying to get my license since i was 16 but no matter how hard i try i can’t seem to be able to get my license. I’ve already completed drivers ed and have my permit, and a car but none of my family can help me (moms too crazy, and everyone else never has time). My other family is constantly telling me to get my license but it’s quite literally impossible for me because of my predicament. Please i need some advice ❤️

I’m 19 and finally getting more comfortable with the idea of learning to drive but I keep psyching myself out that it won’t be worth it and I’ll still be anxious even after I get my license, and won’t ever be able to drive like everyone else. Does anyone else go through this and how can I help myself feel more optimistic?

as shown in title. last thursday, i got into my first wreck and i am scared to death of driving again. i misjudged the amount of space i had to turn left and got t-boned in the back window/wheel while driving to school. they were going about 45 in a 25 and weren’t paying any attention.

they laid on their horn for what i assume was almost 4 seconds before it all happened, and i can only imagine they made no attempt at stopping (no skid marks, unnecessarily long honking.) all of my airbags went off on the passenger side and my suspension snapped in half on the back right wheel. my car is totaled but everyone in the situation was physically fine. their car was fine, very minor damages because their car was much higher up than mine. i understand it was my fault but i feel so bad for my parents having to deal with the whole situation.

almost 15 minutes after the crash happened, the exact same situation happened again directly behind my own accident. the sound is ingrained into my mind. thank God no one was hurt, but i nearly got hit by the debris from the other crash.

my insurance covers everything but i still feel so horrible because of my negligence.

i tried driving around my neighborhood today but i was shaking afterwards. how do i get over my fear and start driving again?

Hello everyone I (22M)wanted to make this post to show my journey with driving anxiety. Maybe it can help give someone with motivation. I’ve always been very anxious about learning how to drive I’ve tried a few times but always flake out but this time I feel like it’ll be different. It’s been over a year since I tried to learn and in a few hours today I will be attempting again.I’m honestly terrified but feeling pretty optimistic this time around,Wish me luck I’ll edit this post after and let yall know how it went :)

EDIT-so I went to a empty parking lot and practiced how to turn right and just getting comfortable with the car and it went great. I was very nervous at 1st like heart racing but after a while I calmed down and it felt great. I’ll be practicing on my days off and making more post for anyone who wants to follow along!

I’ve been lurking here for a while, but I’m finally posting because I’m stuck in an overthinking loop about what happened in my driving lesson today.

I'm 34(F) and picking up driving again after a 15-year break. I’ve held my Canadian learners permit since 14, but a terrible driving school experience at 19 combined with financial hurdles made me quit driving.

Now that I'm financially stable, I decided to try to overcome my fear of driving and I've hired a private licensed instructor this time. Today marked my 3rd day (6 hours) of driving lessons. We did highways, and my merging and speed control were good. However, near the end of my lesson, I messed up my steering coordination during a turn into a commercial area, and I hit the curb. I scraped the bottom of my instructor's car and I felt so bad. But my instructor was amazing and calm and reassured me its ok.

I'm home now and having a massive anxiety and overthinking attack. This is my first time hitting something. How do you shake off this kind of anxiety and force yourself back behind the wheel? Any advice would be helpful. Thank you.

I (21F) have been in 6 car accidents, and 3 of them were in 2025. I was only behind the wheel for one of them and there were different drivers almost every time it happened to me. I have had a severe phobia of driving since my third car accident, which happened during my third time ever being behind the wheel. I’ve been recommended for new types of therapy because of it and have been battling the anxiety for upwards of 5 years.

This summer, I finally felt ready to drive. I am a self employed freelancer so I have spent the whole summer driving to my clients’ houses, pushing myself even when I was scared out of my mind, going on the highway, volunteering to drive at any point I can so I can finally get my license for my last year of college.

Everything has gone well, I’ve been picking things up all summer and pride myself on being a cautious and defensive driver. Except for one thing: parallel parking. I simulated in it my driveway with my BIL, who walked me through a couple times. Today I decided to try it on the road with my dad and I absolutely lost it. I wasn’t doing well, and a line of cars was building up behind me. It threw me into a panic attack and I screamed at my poor dad, said some really nasty stuff and had him drive home while I sobbed in the passenger seat.

When we got home, I told him to go inside and I stayed in the car and just screamed my head off. I was so frustrated and was crying for about thirty minutes. I feel totally lost because my test is on Wednesday and I just want to cancel it. I feel like such a failure and like all my work this summer has been for nothing. I am so scared of an auto fail on the test. I don’t think I’d be able to handle it.

Does anyone have any advice for how to get over this? Any tips or tricks for parallel parking? All I want is to get my license but I feel so hopeless if this is how I react when I’m giving things a try 🤦‍♀️