u/reddit_recluse

I am 36 male. Found out 5 months ago my gf of 15 years cheated on me with her friend, we split up, they're together. It's been traumatic but I've also found so much peace and freedom in my new single life.

My friends are all going on holiday next week and they've invited someone who I was told the other day they are trying to set me up with. I met her last week for the first time and she's great but I'm in 2 minds...

I don't feel ready to date yet. I enjoy being single. I actually think I'm incapable of sex right now following the recent trauma. So my initial thought is just say I'm not interested.

But then I know opportunities like this at my age are rare and she is the ideal girl for me (cute, smart, funny, kind, same interests) and I'm worried that if I say no now will I regret it down the line if I ever start wanting to be with someone again?

As single and happy people, do you ever get doubts about turning down opportunities for relationships with someone you like?

Context: 36M, left a 15 year relationship last year. Found out a few months ago she cheated on me and is now with the guy trying for kids and buying a house. Was all pretty traumatic.

I'm really happy being single now and find the peace and freedom more than make up for the loneliness. However, my friends keep trying to set me up with girls but I've found I have zero interest anymore. Have no desire to have sex or even kiss a woman, even if she's really attractive. I'm not sure if I'm just still not finished processing the cheating and so my brain is blocking out romantic partners as a way to protect myself or if I really have just no interest.

Do you find the happier you are single, the less you want to have sex?

I (41M) am in a situation where I bought an expensive, beautiful dream cottage in the Cotswolds with my ex wife a few years ago. I was able to keep the house in the divorce thankfully and am currently living here alone with no plans to ever live with another partner again.

I'm able to cover the mortgage, all bills, etc. and save £1100 per month. When we were together I was able to save about double of this, so I was putting on average 50% into the stock market and 50% into the house (essential maintenance, repairs, upgrades).

When we divorced I sold my investments and emptied my S&S ISA to give to my ex so I could keep the house. It was really demoralising seeing the figure plummet from £100k to £0 after all that time paying into it, but keeping my dream home took priority.

Now what I'm struggling with is that I can't afford to do both. I need to keep putting £1100 a month into the house because it still needs expensive repairs. It needs about £60k spent in total so I'd need to do this for about 5 years.

I'm just getting a bit frustrated/disheartened because it means 5 years of not contributing to my ISA and 5 years of missed compound growth.

I have been very tempted to downgrade the house and have been to view a few properties but none come close to where I am. I am considering getting a lodger but I hear some horror stories and not sure how I'd feel about a stranger in my personal space, especially as I work from home so wouldn't want it impacting my work life too.

I guess it's because I've spent so long following the FIRE path that investing every month just feels right. Every pay day lately when I've not been adding to it and seeing a balance of £0 on my ISA is really difficult after being on this journey for so long.

I guess this is just a reminder to everyone here on the FIRE journey that it's not always straightforward. Life is full of surprises and you need to prepare yourself mentally to adapt to new challenging situations.

My friend (35M) lives with his mum (65F) in a house she owns with an £80k mortgage balance remaining (approx house value is £250k). She's due to retire soon but they want to keep the house as it's been in the family for a while, so has sentimental value. The mortgage expires in 3 years and they're concerned she won't be able to remortgage (or indeed afford to continue to pay the mortgage even if she could get one).

He's happy to continue living there with her for the long term and so they're thinking that he should buy the home from her. She said she's happy to sell the home to him for £80k, basically enough to clear the mortgage. He has £30k saved, so he'd just need a new £50k mortgage in his sole name.

Are there any issues with this plan, financially speaking? Especially because she's selling it to him so cheap and continuing to live in it. They're not trying to avoid inheritance tax, care home fees, etc. They're just trying to keep their family home.

Can you suggest a better way (financially) for them to keep the home? E.g. some way she can continue to own it on her own, joint ownership, etc.