r/SingleAndHappy

Just want to put this out there gently. I noticed that a lot of people on this sub myself included have had really horrible experiences with relationships. And even if that’s not the case, everyone (mostly) has the belief that they’re better off single full stop. It seems a bit extreme. Or are there people with a more moderate outlook that like, yeah right now things are really nice being single and happy, and yeah shitty relationships will suck and make you hate life. BUT maybe at some point, maybeeeee, you could meet someone that makes life easier, richer, more fulfilling.

Or is everyone here just downright against even having a glimmer of hope? Because if so honestly feels a bit anti social and misanthropic. Which I am, to a degree, but look, we can’t discount that we might meet a partner that makes life even better. It’s theoretically possible.

Unless you believe that fundamentally that’s not possible and your beliefs are that no matter what it will always turn sour, too difficult, and solitude is always better.

I guess that’s a bit of a tangent. Thoughts?

I hate being asked if I have a boyfriend. That implies that it's something I should need or want. "Do you have love in your life?" is a question that sounds similar on the surface, but it's a million times better. Love doesn't have to be a relationship. It can be friendship, family, pets, or self-love. Love coming from anywhere is good. I don't need to be dating anyone to be surrounded by love.

I'm 30. Been single for 3 years.

My first relationship was 16-24, and we lived with each other all that time (broken homes, wanted to make one together.)

Second relationship was 24-27. He moved in with me two months in, because I was dumb and he liked life easy.

It wasn't easy but in the past three years I've really grown into myself and honestly enjoy my own company more than I ever have. I don't know if I'll be single forever, there's no way to predict that. I've been on dates and had my fun with guys, but it's never led anywhere for one reason or another.

But my friends just don't seem to get it, to the point they make me feel bad about it. They are constantly telling me to get out there, if I haven't spoken to someone in a while it's the first thing they ask about, they don't seem to get how I'm happy focusing on work on myself. Literally all my friends are like this.

I find it annoying to be frank. I also find them almost obsessive about it- like they break up with people and straight away get into new relationships, and then abandon me for those, then come back when it doesn't work out...rinse...and repeat.

I don't get how that's any better? If anything, I think it seems worse- like they clearly can't sit alone and reflect on themselves. And I'm not outspoken to them about this, but then they are SO outspoken to me about how I've been single so long, just find anyone (doesnt that sound desperate?), how could I live like this?! I've even been called sad. SAD because I'm not willing to just go with anyone!

I'm content with the way my life is and I don't miss having to deal with someone else all the time. I spent the best part of my younger years being a wife, I'm okay now rediscovering myself.

Idk I just needed to vent. Anyone got anything I can say to friends when they start going off again?

I'm 23F.

Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about being single. I love spending time by myself, and when I’m around someone for too long (even my mom at home!), I start getting frustrated. To me, living with someone mostly feels like a constant need to interact, plus having to hear things like "you're overthinking" or "it's all in your head."

So, I started thinking about things that people assume you need a relationship for, but actually don't:

Housework / Repairs – Instead of needing a guy around, you can just hire a handyman.

Sex – I have a Reddit friend for sexting, and I feel completely sexually satisfied.

Peace of mind – ONLY ACHIEVABLE ALONE.

Money – Living alone is cheaper than living as a couple; if you have a decent job, you'll manage fine.

Do you have the same? :)

I don’t blame them as a woman, because after deconstructing the conventional notion that you need a romantic partner to be eternally happy and going through a somewhat romantic situationship , I 100% would chose platonic female friendships over romantic relationships with men.

The quality of platonic friendships with females are so much more fulfilling and worth it as opposed to relationships with males.

They’ve cracked the code before us all because we were indoctrinated and used as pawns for manipulation.

My Morbid Response to 'You'll Die Alone!!':

I hope to be so lucky! Many people in relationships don't even get that; they die with their partner- the last known person to see them alive- in the room...

I haven’t had to deal with someone complaining about every single fucking thing wrong in their life and try to calm them down and talk them through making a rational decision

No one asking me if they should do something or not and getting upset when i can’t make a decision for them

I woke up, got dressed, and left my house in peace

This life is a luxury

Happily single, and never planning on partnering, but looking to plan my old age.

Everyone I know, from family to family friends, has had a partner or kids who looked after them in old age.

For those who are planning my on remaining indefinitely single and childfree, what are your plans for once you’re in a helpless state?

Disclaimer: After writing my whole post, I saw that it's too long, I'm rambling and I may not be connecting the ideas well. But I wanted to let out so much of my inner thoughts. So I may delete it later. Feel free to read if you want to 🤷‍♀️.

That's how I feel, and yesterday I got reaffirmed this idea. I have a male friend, and we actually have talked lengthy about the singlehood subject, we are both single by choice but due to very different reasons, I'm not open to date because the idea of marriage is unappealing to me, while he actually wants to marry in the future but right now I think he is focusing on growing as a person (in our convos, for example, I've shared that I wouldn't like to cook for a man, while he has told me he wants a wife to cook for him, so yeah very different worlds). But yesterday he was actually very nice to me, like very nice, and warm towards me (as a friend, nothing romantic at all) and he tends to make me feel safe emotionally. He is a good person and will be a great husband (for any woman whose desire in life is to be tradwife, which it's valid as well), and that is where it hit me, I'm not made of stone, someone being affectionate towards me can feel nice, it made me remember how it feels when a man is warm and protective, I will not lie and say it doesn't feel nice, because it does. And I'm not single by choice because a bad experience or because I think there are no good men out there, because I know many, and I personally know many happy marriages, those wives are not at all enduring anything bad from their husbands, they are very loved and cared for. I know the husbands of these happy marriages, they are 100% genuinely good people who would not harm anyone, on the contrary, they would risk their life to protect others, and I know cases were they have done so. My point is, yesterday's experience made me reflect about the good aspects of being in a relationship, which basically is to be loved and be that special someone to someone. And I realized not even the warmest of affection, not even the most pure and loyal love I could get offered, not even those late evening walks with deep conversation where you feel like you two are the only ones in the world, not even if someone could offer me the protection I may have always needed in my life, not even if that "special" someone who has the intellectual depth and curiosity that I always found attractive would say to me that he would do anything, anything, to make me happy, even promise me to give me tons of freedom and never ever demand children of me, not even demand of me to do domestic labor (which being honest I doubt that exist). Nothing, nothing could make me cut my wings off, nothing could make me want to renounce my freedom. I realized that I'm like a impenetrable wall, as if my "wings" are so part of me that they can't be cut off. It hit me, I'm not made like most people, that they want to blend in with another human being, their nature is to forever wanting to compromise, forever lose their individuality, to become one flesh, actually become one, but I was born different because I don't want to become one with another human being.

Yes, I'm happy single because having a husband would make me, personally, struggle with feelings of depression and feel stressed, not because I think he would be literally bad to me, but because it feels against my nature (and also, I don't want to have physical intimacy, which being feel obliged to do so because marriages requires that act, would be like a living torture for me). And I have so many reasons why I'm happy in life and I'm not alone and I have purpose and meaning in my life. I actually have a crush on a man and I think he likes me too (I wouldn't even choose him for a boyfriend because he has so many imperfections that are a deal breakers) but not even feeling a crush for a man makes me feel sad for the loss of a possible relationship in the future, I can't see any man on earth, even if they are attractive, to be actually compatible with me. Romantic feelings are not powerful enough to make me want to give up freedom. Not even the sweetest of loves could demolish this innate independence of mine. For the longest, I always believed I'm not compatible with anyone, because I'm just too weird, and maybe that was actually the case all along. And that's fine :)

Anyone else getting annoyed by this sub flooding with: "Being single is nice but once I see couples, I feel sad and alone" or "I am currently single but can't wait to find the right one."?

Hello? This is a single AND happy sub where people who really enjoy being single and want to celebrate their singlehood gather?

Why is it filled with who simply don't seem fulfilled being single? Always yearning for someone doesn't really mean you are happy being single, does it?

Olá mulheres, eu M27 estou solteira há 3 meses depois de um relacionamento de 5/6 anos, nao vou entrar aqui em lamurias ou reclamações do relacionamento, na verdade eu queria saber mais sobre hobbies que voces viram que faz bem , experiências que recomendariam pra uma solteira , alertas também, eu nao sou mt de balada nem nada assim, ja tenho meus hobbies e mesmo namorando ja tinha, eu gosto de ler , escrevo, desenho, faço natação, tênis e enfim outras coisas como cerâmica e afins.

Deixe suas dicas , vou adorar aprender mais.

P.S nao busco outro relacionamento então sair e conhecer gente nao esta nos meus planos

P.S Nao sei se usei a tag certa

Recently moved to Florida and am now 100% single and happy. However, I’m struggling with feeling a little awkward about doing certain things by myself. Movies, beach, restaurants. I really want to just enjoy my own company. Does anyone have any tips or some ideas to make me feel less awkward?