Am I alone here?
I’m a conservative 31 M Christian from MA and my entire life I have been struggling with homosexuality. It caused me to run away from God for years and made me question why I can’t change no matter how much I tried and begged. Now I’m not trying to change anyone’s mind when I say this but recently I discovered the word “homosexuality” was never in the Bible until 1946, that the original Greek term used meant “abuse” and “exploitation” Now I’m not the type that tricks myself into believing things I want to, I’ve been very careful in debating my own thoughts so that truth reigns. I then began reaching more into this idea and the more I looked the more it became clear to me that a monogamous faithful relationship with another man that also follows Jesus wouldn’t fall into that category at all, as the idea of a monogamous same sex relationship wasn’t even a thing back in the times the book was written. I believe that by removing myself from the perverse lifestyle of hookups and porn addiction and instead pursuing a real companionship and loving covenant with another man that follows Jesus, we can still honor him. None of us are perfect and we never will be, Jesus died for all of our sins. That’s not to say we can do whatever we want but I’ve gotten to the point where I believe I can pursue this type of relationship and still continue following Jesus. I don’t believe celibacy is the answer personally, as God himself says we were created for companionship and it is actually stated by Paul in Corinthians 7 that celibacy is a specific gift from God and those who do not have that gift shouldn’t force themselves into isolation. Is there anyone else out there that feels the same way I do? I’m struggling to find the balance between progressive Christian’s that are lgtbq+ (which I don’t identify with) and SSA Christian’s who believe they have to remain celibate forever.