This disease sucks.
Dysthymia (Persistent Depressive Disorder) sucks because, in order to truly improve it, you have to consistently do things that help your mental health such as, work out, eat better, get enough sleep, get outside, socialize, etc. The problem is that the illness itself takes away your motivation and will to do those things, so forcing yourself to do them feels like trying to push a car uphill.
Medication helps my anxiety and depression, but no medication I’ve taken has touched the apathy, anhedonia, or the constant feeling that life is just…mundane and pointless. That’s the part that’s the hardest to explain to people. I’m not necessarily sad, I don’t want to die. I’m just not interested in living.
One of the few things I enjoy is food and now I’m obese (you can’t tell by looking at me, I have somewhat of an athletic build besides by gut), so I have to stop eating the things I enjoy before my obesity becomes apparent, so that sucks.