u/rnadomguy197

So recently I’ve been doing some research on different microlabels and such as a way to maybe learn more about myself. Now that I’m not repressing these thoughts and actually questioning myself, I’ve realized that for a long time there’s always been a very blurry line between strictly platonic and romantic feelings in my head. Growing up like most other people I was heavily influenced by traditional romantic relationships, and what was “normal” and “expected”, cuddling, kissing, lots of quality time and a deep bond. But over the past few years I’ve seen in school and in media, friendships that also do all those “romantic” things. So I’ve been thinking that if you can have a platonic relationship with “romantic” aspects, and a romantic relationship with “platonic” aspects, then how are either that different really? Now as mentioned at the top, I’ve been searching microlabels that would help me to better understand myself, and the three I’ve come across would be Frayromantic, Bellusromantic, and Queerplatonic. I guess I still don’t fully understand why “romantic” actions are almost exclusively for a romantic relationship when they can be done in platonic relationships. But also what makes a romantic relationship special if the things that are traditionally done for one can be found in friendships? If anyone reads this and is on the arospec that has experienced or is experiencing romantic attraction I would really appreciate you trying to explain what romantic feeling feel like.

So over the past few days of not being in a romantic relationship I’ve been questioning how I feel about romantic feelings. And on a few ends I’ve come to terms with things, but it’s still so confusing. I know for years at this point that I’ve always felt like I never really understood romantic attraction, despite being in a few relationships. Like frequently I would think to myself, “Why do you have to be in a relationship to do intimate stuff?”, and, “If I was really close with a friend, and they were comfortable, what’s so wrong with wanting to do more stuff than in a typical friendship?”. And for those years I just repressed those thoughts, told myself that if I felt that way towards someone that it was *just* romantic attraction. But now I’ve been given a chance to really think about how I felt about those things. I don’t know if I really feel romantic feelings per se. I have a desire to do all the things people would do in a typical romantic relationship with someone, but just don’t have any care in putting a label on the person, friend or significant other. I’m not repulsed by the idea of someone being labeled as my partner, just kinda disinterested. Anyways, I know I’m always able to better understand my emotions and though by writing stuff down, and I thought why not put this out and see if anyone has either gone through the same thing or is going though it like I am. Thank you stranger for caring to read this.